By Kat Giantis
Special to MSN Entertainment

Urn Over a New Leaf: Are you kidding us with this, Beyoncé? It seems you learned nothing from our three-part lecture series on how to avoid putting the "ack!" in tacky, because here you are on the red carpet, wedged into a hideous, hermetically sealed vase masquerading as a black and gold leaf mermaid gown. Not surprisingly, this eyesore is yet another misstep from your mother's House of Deréon fashion collection. Look, Bey, it's time to face up to the fact that, consciously or not, your mom may not have your best style interests at heart (read: She may secretly hate you). Yes, the dress showcases your to-die-for curves, but at what cost? Elegance and mobility have been sacrificed so you can strike your characteristically labored pose in this flared, floral monstrosity, which should be worn only if a) Your alter ego Sasha Fierce is itching to get into a knock-down, drag-out catfight with Krystle and Alexis on a very special episode of "Dynasty" or b) You're about to have your portrait painted on black velvet, perhaps with a pack of dogs playing poker in the background. But don't worry: It's not all bad news. If our sight line remains firmly focused above your décolletage, your accessories-light look and pulled-back hair highlight your silky skin, toned shoulders and comely visage. We just can't look down too suddenly or the juxtaposition from pretty to painfully passé is sure to give us whiplash.

(AP)