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By Kurt Geltz
Special to MSN Movies
So, who watches the "Watchmen"? Hopefully, you will when it's released
March 6. But, that said, here are some of the comments we heard when the trailer
first premiered before "The Dark Knight": "Oh great, another superhero
movie." "Isn't that Batman?" "Whoa, hot chick in yellow spandex!" "Is that
floating, blue dude naked?" After hearing them, it dawned on us: Not
everyone is aware of this amazing, groundbreaking, classic graphic novel or who
these characters are and why they're so important to geekdom. So, to prepare
you, here is a "Watchmen" roll call, so you can get to know the heroes.
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The Minutemen
Before you can dive into anything about the Watchmen, you have to talk about the Minutemen. These masked characters banded together in the 1940s to become America's first supergroup. The idea was hatched by a former Marine, who decided on the hokey name Captain Metropolis. He was able to convince others to join with a pitch that included equal parts American Way fervor and publicity for all. But the Justice League or Avengers, this team ain't. At the beginning, the Minutemen proved to be a valuable ensemble against crime. But, ultimately, this team was fraught with dysfunction, and after a few years the writing was on the wall. First, the corporate-sponsored superhero, Dollar Bill, was shot and killed in the most embarrassing way possible, during a bank heist. Then Captain Metropolis, who was a closet homosexual, started to argue publicly with his lover, the Hooded Justice, who evidently enjoyed S&M. But that's not all! There's also a horrible moment when the Comedian sexually assaults the first Silk Spectre, and Mothman has a mental breakdown, not to mention the revenge killings, alcoholism ... oh boy! Kinda makes you yearn for the wholesomeness of "Superman" or "Spider-Man."
The Comedian (Jeffrey Dean Morgan)
One of the standouts in the Minutemen was the Comedian, aka Edward Blake. He is a very important piece of the "Watchmen" narrative. Like most of the characters in this story, the Comedian has no real superpowers, unless you count an unhealthy dose of amorality, a cynical sense of humor, and a killer left hook. According to the graphic novel, Blake started his superhero career dressed in a funny, clownlike costume, cleaning up the docks in New York during the 1940s. His time with the Minutemen was impressive until his machismo proved too controversial for the family-friendly (at least on the outside) group. During World War II, the Comedian was drafted by the government to fight the enemy overseas, where his brutal modus operandi made him very popular. In fact, Blake ends up being Uncle Sam's blunt instrument against anything that goes against the American Way. The Comedian is also able to stay active as a superhero even after the government-sponsored legislation called the Keene Act makes it illegal. Along the way, Blake racks up many enemies, with almost all of them wanting to see him dead. Co-creator and writer Alan Moore has said that he envisioned the Comedian as "kind of a Gordon Liddy character, only a much bigger, tougher guy."
Silk Spectre I (Carla Gugino)
Sally Jupiter (originally Juspeczyk) was more superopportunist than superhero. Costumed adventurers were quite the fad during her day in the 1930s, with many trying to make a difference when crime was becoming rampant. Jupiter figured out rather quickly that her "talents" could be used to entice lawbreakers of the male variety into surrendering to a hot girl with less bloodshed. While the Silk Spectre was far from defenseless as a superhero, her main objective was to further her own career and became the Bettie Page of the superhero set. When Captain Metropolis decides to take advantage of the numerous costumed adventurers popping up in New York, he first approaches the Silk Spectre, who is easiest to hunt down since she has an agent. Her decision to use the Minutemen to further her own career also had a downside. First, she has to act as a "beard" for the Hooded Justice, who is trying to keep his sexuality a secret, and later she faces a horrible situation after the Comedian makes unwanted advances at her. Sally tries to parlay her celebrity into an acting career but eventually becomes a B-list has-been. After opportunities dry up, the Silk Spectre decides to hang up her "cape" for good and retires from the superhero biz. She decides to marry her agent and has a little girl but longs for the "good old days." But longing isn't good enough as she ends up pushing her daughter to follow in her footsteps.
Dr. Manhattan (Billy Crudup)
This member of the Watchmen is crazy smart, his skin tone looks like a Smurf who stuck his finger in a light socket, and he prefers to float around naked. Meet Dr. Manhattan, an unexpected side effect from a government science project during the 1960s. Manhattan is America's ultimate weapon during the Cold War. He stops the Viet Cong during the Vietnam War, he keeps the USSR at bay, and he's pretty much aware that every significant event, from JFK's assassination to his breakup with girlfriend Silk Spectre, is going to happen before they actually happen. Doctor Manhattan used to be mild-mannered scientist Jon Osterman, who got caught in some mad scientist-looking destructo-chamber and had his atoms smashed to oblivion. Or so they thought. Osterman, it turns out, was able to return from the dead as a very cold, detached and pretty much omnipotent being (one who apparently doesn't like clothes). As it turns out, Doctor Manhattan is the only one in the Watchmen world who actually has superpowers. And no, he's not just a superman; rather he may very well be a god. Oh, and if you thought the crazy time-trippin' stuff on the TV show "Lost" was a mind bender ... wait until you hear Dr. Manhattan describe how he sees all of time all at once. It will have you turning to your neighbor in the theater to ask if they will be your constant. Oh, and one last thought: Please, Doctor, put some pants on!
Silk Spectre II (Malin Akerman)
Being the daughter of the original Silk Spectre hasn't been a bonus for Laurie Juspeczyk. Her mother, Sally Jupiter, loves to drink, be inappropriate, and push Laurie into the capes and cowls game as a way to try to relive her own superhero glory days. It's kinda like that overinvolved mom who pushes her young daughter into the pageant circuit. One of the reasons Laurie has so much rancor with her mother is because she is forced into an intense training regimen at a young age so she can fight evil and fit into her mother's sexy costume. During a tryout for a new superhero team, Laurie meets the man of her (blue?) dreams and later becomes the mate of Dr. Manhattan. When the Keene Act turns superheroes into illegal vigilantes, the Silk Spectre is more than happy to hang up her leotard.
(Story Continues On Next Page...)
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