Harem Scare 'Em: There are a few things that Katie Holmes does very well, such as gazing down
adoringly at Tom Cruise, gushing to the press about her "amazing"
life and having heart-to-hearts with Dawson and Pacey. But fashion design? That
would be an amazingly emphatic no, as you can see by this original creation the
crop-coiffed actress donned for the official opening of her Broadway debut, "All
My Sons." Determining which part of Katie's amateurish white silk jumpsuit is
the most hideous is a little like deciding which death scene is the most
depressing, Old Yeller's or Bambi's mom's, because no matter what you pick, it's
gonna end in tears. Is it the Modern Maturity magazine-approved black lace
overlay (sniffle)? The schlumpy, cleavage-deflating neckline (mewl)? The
superfluous gold necklace straight out of an episode of "Dynasty" (sob)? Or the gathered
ankles on her unpleasant harem pants, which even Jeannie would be too
embarrassed to wear outside her bottle (waaaaaah)? Speaking of everyone's
favorite blinking, wish-bestowing blonde, perhaps it would be a good idea for
Holmes, who has long brushed off suggestions that she's under her husband's
E-meter-attached thumb, to avoid duds made famous by someone who called the man
in her life "Master."
(Walter McBride/Retna Ltd.) |
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