Pop Culture Crime: Are You Numbing Your Own Kids? 

By Martha Brockenbrough
MSN Cinemama

I was all set to write about an entirely different movie this week, but changed gears when I read this comment on my review of "Igor," which I called a fine family diversion that falls short of being a defining cultural experience for a family.

Here's what one parent wrote (I've corrected the typos so the writer doesn't look unduly idiotic).

"Parents don't take kids to the cinema for a defining cultural experience ... we do it because it's a treat; they like popcorn and candy; they sit still for 80-90 minutes; it makes them happy. What you need to realize is that, as parents, we're simply looking for an enjoyable [time] -- we will sit through hours of watching the same 'Barney' or 'Bratz' episode over and over."

The commenter and I agree on one thing: Movies are a treat.

But parents who use TV or movies as a baby sitter or, worse, some kind of eyeball drug that will anesthetize kids for an hour-and-a-half, are making a big mistake. Worse still are the parents who will let their kids sit through crap entertainment like "Bratz" over and over.

Those parents are the reason there's so much entertainment garbage for kids. You watch it, you buy it, it makes money, and it makes it more difficult for quality fare to find its time in the spotlight.

Look, I get that every movie can't be great. Some movies, like "Igor," are merely the kind of thing you take your kids to when you want a fun night out.

There's nothing wrong with having a bit of fun, and "Igor" is clever enough that it can deliver that.

But even a fun night out is a pretty anemic goal. For the same price as a trip to the movie theater with a family of four, you have a lot of options -- a couple of CDs plus a DVD and a book or two, all of which will last longer. Or, you could see something at your local children's theater. I'm a big fan of author events at local bookstores. You can get signed books and meet real authors for a comparative song.

In any case, even when you're aiming for fun, you shouldn't settle for mediocrity.

But to set your pop-culture sights as low as "Bratz" or "Barney," and to say all you want from a movie is for junior to sit still, has to be one of the most depressing, self-defeating mindsets you can have as a parent.

Let me use an analogy. Would you feed your children chicken nuggets stuffed with chemicals and fillers "over and over" just because your kids like them and they'll sit still while they're eating? Or would you rather your children fueled their bodies with nutritious foods that will help their bodies and minds develop to their potential?

The occasional chicken nugget is no big deal. But if you let a kid grow up eating nothing but nuggets and plain pasta, then your child is missing out. I'm not just talking about missing out on flavors, either. Bad nutrition stunts brain development.

Likewise, if you don't seek out exceptional entertainment for your kids (the very best books, TV, music and movies) then your child will grow up equally diminished.

How can we expect our kids to grow up and have taste (the ability to judge quality from dreck) without exposing them to stuff that is smart, challenging and inventive? It's simply not possible.

Nor should taste be underestimated. When people have informed taste, they can make decisions more quickly. They're less likely to waste money on junk. And they develop higher standards for their own work because they know there is a difference. This doesn't mean everyone has to have the same taste. There are country music people, and there are punk music people, for example. To be able to pick out the best of each is a skill worth having.

I write the Cinemama column to help parents sift through the choices and make thoughtful ones for their families -- in short, to see how a movie might appeal to their taste.

When I judge a movie, I look first at its story: Is it something that children will understand? Is it crafted with respect for its audience? Does it touch on some part of the human experience, something that parents and kids can think and talk about together? Is it made with care and consistency? I tend to care less about the casting, though I'll comment on it when it's relevant.

These aren't necessarily things that the typical critic will ponder. I'm trying to do something a bit different, and that is to show parents how pop culture, instead of being something to fear and resist, can be a meaningful tool for parents to talk about character, choices and values.

I'm not talking about those schlocky "message" movies. Those are no closer to art than television commercials are to the show. The "VeggieTales" movie that was in theaters in January is an example of this.

In any good story, characters experience conflict and have to resolve it, just as we do in real life. Stories have always been a way to talk about these things. And if you give your children practice in looking at stories as a way to understand life, then you will be teaching them to find meaning in what they watch and read.

This makes it an active experience, instead of a numbing one.

What's more, great movies can be a defining experience in your family's memory bank. I still remember the long line we stood in to watch "Star Wars." I remember how my neck ached because the only row with seven consecutive seats was the front. (I haven't sat there since.) Likewise, I remember "E.T.," where I sat in the back row with my brothers and sisters and hoped no one could tell I was bawling my eyes out.

I wouldn't trade these memories for anything, and want my own kids to have them, too. This summer, the magical moment came from "WALL-E," which both my kids adored (even though some parts were pretty scary). My 4-year-old does a dead-on impersonation of WALL-E's voice.

Interestingly enough, the person who hated what I had to say about "Igor" also hated "WALL-E," calling it "terrible" and heavy-handed with its message. My guess is that the movie, which showed how passive consumption ruined the planet and left people alienated from each other, hit a little close to home for someone who'd sit and watch endless episodes of "Barney" and "Bratz" instead of doing something more enjoyable and meaningful.

Look, I get that parenting is hard, and sometimes all we want to do is flop down on the couch and let the assorted blows of the day disperse into the air around us. There are times when it's OK to watch something junky because we just don't have the energy for more. But this should be rare.

Just as we choose our kids' food with their growth in mind, we need to make equally thoughtful choices for the other parts of their lives.

On a grand scheme, it's important: The more parents do this collectively, the better the stuff that will be out there.

But it's even more important on the small scale. You don't have that much time with your kids before they're grown. Why squander a minute of it on something that's less than great?

Martha Brockenbrough is MSN's Cinemama, for the Parents' Movie Guide. She is also the author of Things That Make Us [Sic], a guide to funny bad grammar published by St. Martin's press. She also blogs about family life for Cozi.com, and writes an educational humor column for Encarta. Check out her Web site.

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