DVD Roundup: Miley Cyrus vs. Demi Lovato (Plus 7 Other DVDs Worth a Look) 

By Martha Brockenbrough
MSN Cinemama

If you have a life, then perhaps you are not aware of a dramatic showdown in the pop culture world -- one that could knock the Earth off its axis, one that could finally show the sun who's revolving around whom.

I'm talking about Miley Cyrus vs. Demi Lovato.

Here's the short story:

CATTYMOUSEVILLE, USA -- "Hannah Montana" star Miley Cyrus was once deeply in love with Nick Jonas of the Jonas Brothers trio. Now Nick is said to be dating Selena Gomez, the BFF of Demi Lovato, star of the TV musical "Camp Rock."

Selena and Demi also star in some YouTube videos they will someday regret for their silliness.

Miley and her BFF star in YouTube videos that make fun of Demi and Selena -- videos they already regret (sort of) for their meanness. Miley had to issue an "if I offended anyone" apology, and tried to argue that "imitation is the sincerest form of flattery."

Anyway, Disney has released two big kid videos on the same day.

Which ones? That would be "Hannah Montana/Miley Cyrus: Best of Both Worlds Concert Tour" and "Camp Rock."

ZING!

Did Disney orchestrate this to capitalize on the hottest teen feud since Britney Spears and Christina Aguilera? Unplanned or evil genius, the timing will give us real numbers we can throw around to justify our positions on the Miley vs. Demi battlefield.

What about the Jonas Brothers? They do appear in both videos. But one of the boys was seen rocking a "Team Demi and Selena" T-shirt after the dueling YouTube videos. Ouch. That could put an end to Miley's dream of maybe someday becoming Mrs. Nick Jonas, as she told the magazine Seventeen.

Good Lord. I'm starting to feel cheap and dirty.

The real question, and there is one somewhere in here, is which DVD will you want to buy?

The answer is pretty easy. If your kids love "Hannah Montana" and missed out on her concert, and you made them stay in school instead of seeing it in the theater, then you will be hated for life if you don't at least rent the video. Having watched montages of little girls screaming in the early scenes, I can see why parents would want to take measures to avoid that sound.

The "Hannah" movie is an extended concert (with a 3-D version for kids who want to feel that they might actually get to touch Hannah if they're wearing one of the four pairs of glasses included).

One half stars the blond Hannah. The other stars the brown-haired Miley Cyrus as herself. There are some comic episodes in between numbers, including one in which Miley falls off some shoulders, tells the director she doesn't want to do that move, calls for her mother, and is told by mom that she just needs to "trust." It's good to see that Miley Cyrus can stand up for herself, even if the other people around her are happy to use her as a prop. Fortunately, the move later goes off without a hitch, which is probably why Miley was able to laugh about it.

The philosophy of "Hannah Montana" songs is not deep. It could be summed up thus: "Life is a party. Life is what you make it. I'm ordinary, like you. Only I live in an extraordinary world. This is why I see life as a party, and also as a pleasure dome of my own making." (By the way, "pleasure dome" is a reference to the poetry of Samuel Coleridge. Miley's songs contain no poetic references.)

Oh, but I'm too harsh. Or not. This is pretty much as deep as her songs get. The music of the Jonas Brothers is better, though I might have just been distracted by their golden jackets, shiny pants and incredible locks. Team Jonas Brothers Hair! The DVD retails for $34.99.

Moving on to "Camp Rock." This movie has an actual story. It could be called a predictable one, if you've ever seen a modern Disney tween movie. Here's the thing to remember, though, when it comes to predictability. These tweens, just a few years ago, were asking us to read their favorite bedtime story approximately 1,387 times in a row. They like predictability.

The "Camp Rock" story goes like this. Demi Lovato plays Mitchie Torres, a girl who dreams of going to an expensive rock camp but her family can't afford it until her mom gets hired as a camp lunch lady. With the discount, she's in!

But it'd be disaster if the rich kids at rock camp found that out, so she keeps it a secret. Enter the melon-headed rock star Shane Gray, played by Joe Jonas, and a supermean diva named Tess Tyler (Meaghan Jette Martin). Will there be a romance? Jealousy? Bitchiness? A food fight? Gee, I don't know. But it did well on TV when it premiered, capturing the gazes of 12.5 million viewers. Not quite "High School Musical 2," but what is?

"Camp Rock" retails for $29.99