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By Martha Brockenbrough
Special to MSN Movies
Oscar gets around -- maybe not quite as much as Emmy, but for a bald guy he's
certainly been in a lot of hands. There are just so many categories; it's no
wonder the show goes on (and on).
And some of the categories, we confess, aren't all that interesting. Best
Sound Mixing? With all due respect to sound mixers, there are other things that
make or break a movie for us -- not to mention an awards ceremony.
These contributions ought to be recognized, so we've developed a few
categories for our award, the Everyday Oscar:
Acceptance Speech We'd Most Like to Hear
Perhaps the
worst speech in Oscar history was given by James Cameron, who proclaimed himself
"King of the World" for his "Titanic" win. It has been 10 years since that incredibly corny
movie picked up its 11 Oscars, and in the interim no one has managed to be
anywhere near as cheesy and predictable. Angelina Jolie injected a big dose of
the creepy a few years later when she said, "I'm in shock. And I'm so in love
with my brother right now, he just held me and said he loved me."
Suffice it to say that neither Cameron nor Jolie make our cut for this award,
though we will reconsider Jolie if she continues to save the world, one adorable
orphan at a time.
The nominees:
We'd nominate Kate Winslet, but, alas, she appeared in no movies
last year. So, our two nominees for this category are Emma Thompson, who played a wonderfully weepy Sybil
Trelawney in "Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix," and Tom Hanks, who played Charlie Wilson in the eponymous
war movie.
Thompson is always impossibly funny and witty, and Hanks will forever have a
soft spot in our otherwise diamond-hard heart for his "Philadelphia" acceptance speech, in which he complained that
the streets of heaven are "too crowded with angels." Stop making us cry,
already.
And the Oscar goes to ...
Thompson, because we'd rather
laugh than cry.
Most Toxic On-Screen Chemistry
Say what you will about
Katie Holmes and her high-profile marriage to Tom Cruise, but she is one beautiful woman. She is
also a case study in how beauty does not always generate chemistry (and those of
us who spend huge amounts of time and energy on beauty products might do well to
remember this).
In 2005, we saw Holmes paired with two compelling leading men, Aaron Eckhart in "Thank You for Smoking," and Christian Bale in "Batman Begins." In each, she was frozen bacon: lots of
potential, but absolutely zero sizzle.
The nominees:
For 2007, we call out Daniel Radcliffe and Katie Leung, who played Harry Potter and Cho Chang
in "Order of the Phoenix," and Diane Kruger and Nicolas Cage, who played a couple in "National Treasure: Book of Secrets."
Kruger and Cage were as cold as Slurpees in the first "National Treasure" movie; their on-screen kiss bordered on the
comical. They should have made like Indiana Jones and dumped the dame after the
first movie. (Story Continues On Next Page...) |
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