Top Gun

Val Kilmer: Look, we've seen the tabloid pictures of a shirtless Val Kilmer. It's entirely possible that his best days are as behind him as his beer gut is in front of him. But those were some glory days, especially when he was riding the grime train.

To see why, compare pictures... more of him in two trash-classics from the '80s: "Willow" and "Top Gun." In "Willow," he plays Madmartigan, a bare-chested thief who boasts of great skills with his sword. (Look, we're just summarizing the plot. You're the one seeing filthy double entendres.)

In "Top Gun," he plays the clean, spiky-haired flyboy "Ice," who was meant to be cool, but utterly failed to take our breath away.