Titanic

1. "Titanic," Best Picture, Best Director, and Just About Everything Else, 1998
I mean, come on. I know you were in junior high and your first ever boyfriend took you to see it and you guys both reached for the popcorn at the same time and your buttery hands clasped as DiCaprio... more and Winslet gazed moistly at each other while Celine Dion yawped out the worst song of all time (also a winner that year, by the way). I mean, COME ON! We're adults now. You can admit this film is worthless garbage. The sinking stuff is pretty cool, because James Cameron knows his carnage. But the story, the dialogue ("Jack? Rose? Jack!? Rose!?" repeat), the acting (even good actors can't transform tripe), the whole lousy premise is simply beneath any reasonably intelligent person's dignity. Tell that to the academy. Tell that to the world. "Titanic" was the first film to make $1 billion. And that's the story. (20th Century Fox Film Corp/Courtesy Everett Collection)

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Sean Nelson is a Seattle-based writer and musician. He is the author of "Court and Spark," a book about Joni Mitchell, published by Continuum Books.