Sweeney Todd: The Demon Barber of Fleet Street

Johnny Depp: Sadly, we are old enough to have watched — and loved — "21 Jump Street" when it debuted on TV starring a sparkling, youthful Johnny Depp. He was a dreamboat then with his chiseled face and Dippity-do coated hair.

But he's gone from dreamboat to dream — we don't ... moreknow, battleship? — in the years since. You could compare his looks in "Sweeney Todd: The Demon Barber of Fleet Street," where his character goes from being a well-washed young man to something decidedly grimmer. The bad Johnny is far more alluring.

Or, you could simply observe him in his full filthy glory as Captain Jack Sparrow in the "Pirates of the Caribbean" movies. Even with smeary eyeliner, matted hair and skin oily enough for a Clearasil joke, we'd like to request a parley with Captain Jack. On any desert island, anywhere. We'd bring the rum.