Can't ... Stop ... Singing: If we are Superman, Rihanna is our kryptonite. We are powerless against this evil
genius of song behind two utterly infectious irritants, the pop culture
equivalent of, what ... gonorrhea?
Think "Disturbia," with its little "bomp bomp bee domp bomp
bomp be domp
domp" hook, which we feel stupid even typing. And what about "Umbrella"? "You
can stand under my umbrella ella ella eh eh eh" — catchy and embarrassing, and
we think it might be a euphemism for something sexy we don't totally understand.
"Umbrella" does that same stuttering thing that Lil Wayne's "Lollipop" does. This time, though, we know what
all this talk of licking is about, and we wish we could think of something else
when we hear the song.
Still, the tune that will age the worst is "I Kissed a Girl," by Katy Perry. It's an artless ode to experiential
lesbianism that, in the future, will seem as wild and crazy as wearing shoes
without pantyhose. C'mon! Kiss a rhino already! Maybe in 2009 someone will.
(AP)
Martha Brockenbrough is MSN's Cinemama for the Parents'
Movie Guide. She also founded SPOGG, the Society for the Promotion of Good
Grammar. She writes an educational humor column for Encarta, and is author of
"Things That Make Us [Sic]," a book about funny bad grammar.
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