G.I. Joe: The Rise of Cobra

The loudest, flashiest, silliest and longest blockbuster in a summer full of long, silly, flashy, loud blockbusters (long and silly "Transformers," flashy and loud "Wolverine").Read Full Review »

A loud but proficient slab of explode-o-rama summer blockbuster nonsense, perfectly entertaining if you like that sort of thing, extremely skippable if you don't.Read Full Review »

A brazen, earsplitting, eye-popping, oddly satisfying action extravaganza, though it veers wildly off-target in its second hour.Read Full Review »

The action is mostly brisk and bracing and the battleground, particularly Cobra's headquarters -- a vast network of tunnels under the polar ice cap -- are wonderfully imagined, as are the futuristic machines at the Joes' disposal. Basically, the Joes are not bad, it's just that they could have been much better with a little less conversation, a little more action.Read Full Review »

Chock full of high-tech action, with a lot of chasing and shooting and explosions.Read Full Review »

Certainly better than "Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen." How so? Admittedly, it doesn't have as much cleavage. But the high-tech hardware is more fun to look at than the transforming robots, the plot is as preposterous, and although the noise is just as loud, it's more the deep bass rumbles of explosions than the ear-piercing bang of steel robots pounding on each other.Read Full Review »

The only collateral damage is in the audience, where, as you sit through the movie, you can feel your IQ drop minute by minute.Read Full Review »

Don't go expecting an escapist night at the movies; go expecting to be cudgeled into numb, drooling submission.Read Full Review »

I don't know what to say about the acting, writing and directing in G.I. Joe because I couldn't find any.Read Full Review »

This pricey, juiceless pulp could never have been killed by critics, simply because it was already dead.Read Full Review »