When it comes to Angelina Jolie, the gloves are off and the claws are out at Us Weekly, which, judging by its current "Saint or Sinner: Her Twisted Double Life" cover story, may be a mite miffed (or so the speculation goes) that rival People scored the exclusive snaps of her new son, Pax Thien. The mag accuses Brad Pitt's altruistic baby mama of committing a variety of misdeeds, including reneging on her "promise" to be a stay-at-home mom to Maddox, 5, Pax, 3, Zahara, 2, and Shiloh, 10 months, by accepting a role in the thriller "Wanted"; getting into a "huge argument" with Brad before she jetted off to Vietnam to adopt Pax, ostensibly because he "wanted her to slow it down, spend time with Shiloh and have more biological children"; and using her adorable ankle-biters to "manipulate the media" by arranging a photo shoot in Vietnam with Pax, Zahara and Maddox (in Jolie's defense, getting the snaps out quickly helps defuse the paparazzi frenzy around the family). Meanwhile, Life & Style takes a different Brangelina tack with its understated "Death Threat!" cover headline. The mag is convinced the Jolie-Pitts are "facing a terrifying murder plot," which supposedly involves a scheme by "highly skilled operatives" to kidnap Pax and hold him for $100 million ransom. Brad's rep, however, dismisses the story as so much fiction.

Courtney Love has been doing a little remodeling, and she unveiled her makeover efforts this week in Hawaii as she took to the beach in an eensy-weensy bikini that put her suddenly slimline body on full display. So what's the deal with her revamping? In a posting on her Moonwashedrose.com Web site, the rocker-cum-reformed-trainwreck, 42, reveals she's dropped 44 pounds, with "6 more [or] maybe 11 more to go." According to Us Weekly, Love lost the weight by downing diet shakes, eschewing carbs, eating her veggies and "doing lots of yoga." "I'm pretty happy," says the eye-poppingly lean Love. "All I care about is that my self esteem is [limitless] and intact ..." While self-esteem is all well and good, she also wants to be able to slip into the latest catwalk creations. Vows Courtney, who got a dressing down from Chanel last month when she inadvertently stepped out in a knockoff frock, "I'll fit in that damned couture (the uh ... real stuff)." Love also cops to resculpting her already nip-tucked nose because she wanted her "old" proboscis back. "I hated that nosejobby nose," she admits. "I went too far and I fixed it and made it natural again." Now, she says, "[It] looks like the one God gave me so I'm happy not to have crazy lips and a crazy teensy unnatural little nose."

Speaking of going under the knife, did Mary-Kate and Ashley Olsen undergo twin beak tweaks? That's the word from In Touch, which says the pocketsize siblings, 20, had their respective proboscises ever so slightly pared down a few months ago. "Ashley has always thought her nose was a little too big, so she wanted to get it done," alleges a snitch. "When she talked to her sister about it, she loved the idea."

Diddy wants the world to know that just because he welcomed twin girls with longtime love Kim Porter in December, he still makes the magic happen ... again ... and again ... and again. "I've spent a lot of time with Kim in Paris. And it's been perfect," he tells the London Daily Mirror of their recent sojourn to the City of Light. "As soon as we landed, we went straight to the Eiffel Tower, drank champagne at the top and just kissed and kissed." Sounds romantic, right? If only he'd stopped there. Please, before reading any further, put down whatever you're noshing on and grab some Pepto. Do it now. Ready? "Then we went up to my suite and had tantric sex for at least 30 hours, ordering up whipped cream and strawberries while we were at it," swaggers the music mogul, who needlessly adds, "As meticulous as I am with my work, I'm more meticulous with lovemaking. I like to do it for a long time."

Since you're already feeling queasy, we may as well share this little nugget from the New York Daily News, which says reality, oh, let's say star Bam Margera has decorated the garage door of his Pennsylvania pad with a mural of a special someone. No, not his new bride Missy -- Lance Bass. "There's a big portrait of Lance in an astronaut uniform, smiling broadly and holding his helmet proudly," a spy tells the paper of the homage to the former boy-bander, who unsuccessfully attempted to secure a cosmonaut spot on the Soyuz spacecraft in 2003. "In the background is a NASA shuttle ascending to space on a giant rainbow." Bam is said to be proudly owning up to the Bass tribute, telling pals, "Hell yeah! The guy from 'N Sync who wanted to go to outer space, but never made it and was all gay and s**t!"

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