Feb. 14, 2008

The Oscars are still more than a week away, but the tabloids are already salivating over the possibility that the event could provide the perfect storm circumstances for Jennifer Aniston to come face-to-face with ex-hubby Brad Pitt and possibly-pregnant-with-twins Angelina Jolie.

Seems the three are among the hosts of the annual Oscar's eve Night Before charity bash, and even though their attendance remains iffy (looks like it's going to be a last-minute call for all involved), that hasn't stopped speculation of the claw-baring to come.

"Jen wants to go but knows it would be a disaster waiting to happen," an Aniston confidante tells Us Weekly, with another friend alleging, "She told me avoiding Brad and Angelina is more painful than seeing them."

Star, meanwhile, is convinced Pitt is gearing up for the worst at the so-called "showdown" on Feb. 23.

Brangelina lock lips at the Screen Actors Guild Awards earlier this year.

"Brad is prepared for a knock-down, drag-out fight, but he's hoping for the best!" a snitch with an apparently overactive imagination tells the tab (come on, like Jen and Angie would mess up their hair and gowns by acting out a girlie version of "Fight Club").

Pipes in another mole, "[Angelina is] not intimidated by Jen. If Jen is nice, Angie will be nice. If Jen is mean, Angie will let her have it."

Thankfully, Us has some helpful tips on how Aniston should handle the always-awkward situation of making small talk with the do-gooder earth mother your former spouse created an instant family with almost immediately after your breakup.

According to the mag's etiquette expert, Jen should open with, "It's good to see you," then offer her best wishes on Angelina's rumored pregnancy before segueing into some chit-chat about the nominated films.

(Hey, with the exception of a screwball comedy-esque banana cream pie flying into Pitt's pretty face, that's exactly how we imagine the tête-à-tête playing out.)

Check out MSN's Oscar Guide

Meanwhile, OK! opts for a different angle on the staler-than-a-keg-at-Tara-Reid's-house story of Aniston's ostensibly bitter rivalry with Jolie.

"Angie's Joy, Jen's Pain," cries the mag's current cover. "After 3 years, Angelina's got it all while Jen's still tortured by 'the woman who ruined my life' and keeps wondering what if ..."

(If you'd like to take a minute to vigorously scrub your brain, we'll wait ... Feel better? Moving on ...)

Yes, despite Aniston's fame, huge fortune, killer body, rewarding professional life, close-knit circle of friends, shiny hair and rarefied lifestyle, the tab is convinced she's bereft because she didn't procreate with her ex-husband.

"Jen is desperate for kids," asserts a source. "She can feel her biological clock ticking and must be scared that she's left it too late. She keeps saying that she wishes she had kids with Brad and that, if she had, maybe things would be different."

Maintains another so-called "pal," "It's been three years since they split. But she's still so far from getting over him, it's tragic."

Say it with us, people: Whatever.

Aniston wasn't exactly tossing herself a pity party this week on the Vancouver, British Columbia, set of "Traveling," where People reports she celebrated her 39th birthday Monday with a "giant ice cream cake" from her co-workers, who apparently care enough to give the gift of carbs.

"The crew all gathered around and sang a rousing rendition of 'Happy Birthday,'" a spy tells the mag. "[There were] hugs and kisses for everyone, from everyone."

There were also plenty of towering bouquets delivered to the actress' trailer, although the identities of the senders are unknown.

By the by, a spy in Jen's Malibu, Calif., neighborhood alleges to the London Sun that blossoms have been arriving daily at her house.

"I walk by every morning and see beautiful flowers sitting by the gate," a neighborhood dog-walker tells the tab. "There's always a card with them. Everyone knows this has been going on for weeks now, but only Jennifer knows who is sending them -- and she's not saying." (Or at least she's not saying anything to a random dog-walker.)

And don't feel too bad that Aniston had to work on her special day. A few days earlier, she marked the occasion with about 20 pals at a local Italian restaurant, where she was once again serenaded and plied with sugary goodness.

"When [the custom-made cake] was wheeled out from the kitchen by several staff, everyone started to sing 'Happy Birthday' to Jennifer, including people from the kitchen," says the source. "She had a big smile."

Next: Michelle: No Idea What Life Is Going to Be