Dec. 5, 2007

Scarlett Johansson doesn't seem to subscribe to that whole "all publicity is good publicity" theory -- and she probably doesn't subscribe to Us Weekly anymore, either.

The stacked, sultry actress is spitting mad over the magazine making her the cover girl for its new issue, which is irresistibly headlined, "A-List Nip/Tuck: Did they or didn't they? The best before and after photos that prove not all stars were born this beautiful."

Do you see any difference? We don't, except her hair and makeup are a lot better.

So upset was Scarlett over the mag's suggestion that she may have had her proboscis surgically prettified that she took the only reasonable course of action, namely, defending her au natural status to another publication and threatening a lawsuit.

"I have always been straightforward with the press regarding my body image and I am very concerned that my fans (and perhaps even my employers) will feel misled," she fumes to OK!. "Thus, I feel compelled to take immediate legal action against US Weekly."

The star's rep, who says "vehement denials" were issued before the story was published, rants that the "clear implication that she has had plastic or cosmetic surgery on her nose is an outrageous and defamatory fabrication lacking any conceivable basis or proof."

The fuming flack then details the paucity of evidence regarding whether Johansson's once allegedly "more bulbous" beak has been remodeled, such as when she allegedly went under the knife, who was wielding the scalpel or what was sliced off, "all because there simply is no truth to the story."

As for the before-and-after shots featured on the front of the mag, the mouthpiece maintains they "were taken years apart with obviously different make-up and lighting," and brushes off the reliance on an "expert's opinion" to determine what "might have been done," insisting, "It wasn't."

Not that ScarJo, 23, whose Marilyn Monroe-esque "zaftig humidity" has been lauded by Woody Allen, has a problem with taking advantage of the latest advancements in the youth-retaining surgical arts when the time comes.   

"I definitely believe in plastic surgery," she told the New York Times back in 2003. "I don't want to be an old hag. There's no fun in that."

Oy.

By the by, earlier this year Scarlett presciently dismissed the state of celebrity journalism by opining to Vogue, "The tabloids will say anything, and they are so silly. They have these articles that are non-articles: 'So-and-so may or may not be...'"

Meanwhile, in other celebrity lawsuit news, Teri Hatcher is firing back after she was sued by a cosmetic company for purportedly double dipping with her endorsement deals.

TMZ.com reports skin-care company Hydroderm is suing the "Desperate Housewives" star because it believes she violated her contract by stumping for City Cosmetics' so-called lip plumper product.

Hydroderm wants the $2.4 million it paid Hatcher, along with a few hundred thousand more in expenses.  

However, the hollow-cheeked actress denies any wrongdoing, with her publicist pooh-poohing to "Access Hollywood," "The allegations of this lawsuit are totally false and completely without merit ... [She] has more than fully complied with all of her contractual obligations over the course of the relationship."

What's more, says the rep, Teri "will respond swiftly and decisively by appropriate legal means to recover everything she is owed under her contract, as well as compensatory and punitive damages for Hydroderm's outrageous accusations. However, she will not litigate this matter in the press, as Hydroderm apparently seeks to do."

Next: Brangelina's Terms of Endearment