Jennifer Aniston's resurrected romance with John Mayer is progressing at warp speed -- at least in the pages of Star.

Two weeks ago, the tab trumpeted that the actress, 39, had "popped the question" to her back-on beau, 31.

Last week, she'd supposedly hired a wedding planner.

(©Star)

Now, a mere seven days later, "She's having John's babies: Twins for Jen!" announces the magazine.

And because no Aniston tabloid tale would be complete without tying her to long-ago ex-husband Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie, who delivered double bundles in July, the cover features this bon mot: "So there, Angie!"

The mag claims Jen has been "undergoing fertility treatments, determined to have a pair of babies with John" and that she's "doing everything she can" to have a bun baking before she hits the big 4-0 in February.

And what, exactly, is "everything"? She's supposedly been munching on some sort of wild yam because it's rumored to increase the chance of multiples and is also doing "specific poses" during her yoga sessions with the crooner "to help her get pregnant" (yeah, our mind went to a scarily flexible visual place, too.)

"She knows her baby-making years are limited," a source helpfully spells out. "It's hard for her to think of anything else -- she has babies on the brain!"

Jen and John are spotted at Los Angeles' Sunset Tower Hotel on Oct. 28.(©X17Online.com)

But Aniston's rep, who recently denied the latest round of stork rumors, dismisses the tab's tale of her alleged insta-family planning with Mayer.

"It's all a complete fabrication once again from Star magazine," Stephen Huvane scoffs to MSN Entertainment.

You'll remember that it was barely three months ago that Mayer publicly blabbed that he'd cut Aniston loose "to be alone because I don't want to waste somebody's time if something's not right. I don't waste people's time."

But even though he's only been back in Jen's company for about a month (by the by, they reportedly attended an election night party together at Courteney Cox's Los Angeles home), Star remains convinced he's ready to give up his rock star lifestyle and settle into poopie-diaper paradise.

"He ordered a bunch of books on Amazon about pregnancy and parenting," asserts a mole. "He's just as eager as Jen is. They've discussed how they plan to raise their kids, and they agree on mostly everything. They can't wait to be parents together."

In related tabloid fertilization news, In Touch is gearing up for Aniston to go belly-to-belly with Jolie.

In addition to alleging that Jen "could be pregnant with John's baby" because her "bump" is "getting bigger," the mag is floating the possibility that Angelina is once again swelling with the fruit of Brad's fertile loins.

Brad whispers into Angelina's ear at the New York premiere of "Changeling" on Oct. 4. (©WireImage.com)

"Angie's a huge believer in fate and letting nature take its course. It's early, but she says she feels pregnant again," maintains an insider. "She is very tired and emotional. She had thought it was post-partum depression, but then she told Brad, 'Um, I think we've done it again.'"

(Um, we think this story should be taken with a honkin' boulder of salt, but moving on ...)

The actress, 33, who has been out promoting the Oscar-bait drama "Changeling," recently told The New York Times that she and Pitt aren't just randomly expanding their brood, which currently numbers Maddox, 7, Pax, 4, Zahara, 3, Shiloh, 2, and twins Vivienne and Knox, three months.

"I mean, I know we seem crazy, just bringing them in one after the other, but we do plan," she said. "We make sure one is absorbed completely into the family before we add another."

(©OK!)

And finally, OK! has seemingly spun a throwaway comment made by Nicole Kidman into a cover story on Tom Cruise and Katie Holmes' "family news."

Seems Kidman and Cruise's 13-year-old son Connor is eager to add some blue to his pink-centric world with sisters Bella, 15, Suri, 2, and Sunday, 4 months.

"[He] would like one of us to have a boy," the smooth-foreheaded Oscar winner told the December issue of Glamour as she jokingly egged on the current Mrs. Cruise. "He wants that boy. Katie?"

That's where OK! takes over, speculating that TomKat's Nov. 18 wedding anniversary would provide the perfect opportunity for them to get busy on the baby-making.

(Excuse us for a moment -- we need to grab a Brillo pad and some bleach to scrub that image from our brain ...)

"Katie and Tom very much want another baby. There may be no better time than now for Katie to get pregnant again, and absolutely nothing would make Tom happier," opines a snitch. "Their second anniversary is just days away, and I wouldn't be at all surprised to see another little Cruise come into the world nine months later."

Katie and Suri brave the rain in New York on Nov. 5. (©www.splashnews.com)

Setting aside the fact that normal people don't tend to talk like this, Holmes appears to have her hands full at the moment, what with her Broadway role in "All My Sons"; attempting to bring back bad fashion trends from the '80s; and trying to keep a bulky blanket wrapped around the frequently summer dress-clad, bare-legged Suri.

Speaking of Suri's apparent imperviousness to the elements, In Touch's investigative piece last week titled "Why Won't Tom and Katie Put a Coat on Suri?" may have clued in the Cruise camp that it's cold outside.

On Wednesday night, the bob-topped tot was snapped wearing pants, a long-sleeved shirt and socks after a trip to a Baby Gap outpost in Manhattan with her mom.

As for Kidman, she once again touches on her decadelong union to Cruise in her sit-down with Glamour.

"I felt I became a star only by association. I didn't think [my early movies] were very good, which is why I would always cower in the background," she reveals. "I thought, I don't deserve to be here. We would go to the Oscars and I would think, I'm here to support him. I felt it was my job to put on a beautiful dress and to be seen and not heard."

These days, sighs the contented Mrs. Keith Urban, "I'm in a place of gratitude and humility. I don't take any of it for granted. I touch wood every day. The journey of life -- we all go through it. You have love, you lose love, you find new love. To have love again is a beautiful thing."