Paris Hilton spent the weekend engaged in her usual erudite pursuits: She got a spray tan, hung out with on-again arm-candy Stavros Niarchos, got bad-touched by some foliage and dissed frenemy Lindsay Lohan. On Friday, as the photo op-adoring starlet waded through a sea of paparazzi on her way to a fake-bake appointment in Los Angeles, she was asked whether she had any "well-wishes" for LiLo, who purportedly had her appendix yanked out the day before. Paris' succinct reply (via X17.com): "No." In addition to treating herself to a healthy faux glow and not telling Lohan to get well soon, Hilton also reportedly ripped the seat of her pants on a protruding branch as she leaned over to pick up her keys outside her Hollywood Hills pad (the ever-vigilant photogs captured the horrific, hole-y aftermath), and ran out of gas while cruising in her $200,000 Bentley convertible. "Dude, I've never put gas in this car -- I forgot," she told photographers as they pushed her to the side of the road (via TMZ.com). As a kind shutterbug went to fetch her some fuel, Hilton used the free time to flip through one of her many scrapbooks. According to the New York Post, the craftsy star paused on a page with a photo featuring her with Stavros and emblazoned with the caption, "The First Time." Draw your own conclusions. Anyhoo, before heading on her way, a grateful Paris baby-talked to the gas-providing paparazzo, "Thank you so much."

In related news, not even surgery can stop Lindsay from making the club scene. People reports the id-driven, illness-prone starlet hit a Los Angeles hotspot Friday night, just hours after paparazzi caught her looking surprisingly mobile as she left Los Angeles' Century Park Hospital.

Sure, Nicole Kidman and Halle Berry have loudly proclaimed their desire to procreate, but it seems the Oscar winners can't even do a bit of shopping without stoking stork speculation. First up is Kidman, whom the tabloids have had on belly watch for pretty much the last two years. The London Daily Mail says the smooth-foreheaded star, 39, who reunited with rehabbing husband Keith Urban in Australia over the holidays, touched off a new round of bun-in-the-oven burblings after one of her assistants ordered nearly $700 worth of newborn items at tony Los Angeles tot boutique Petit Tresor. "The items were purchased using Nicole Kidman's credit card," a store snitch inconclusively tells the paper. Berry, 40, meanwhile, only needed to don an oversized shirt while doing some retail therapy last week in Malibu to prompt whispers that she may be expecting a bundle of joy with her dewy Canadian model-beau Gabriel Aubry, reports the New York Daily News. The star's rep remains mum on the rumors.

Could Britney Spears' bout of fatigue on New Year's Eve cost her close to a half-million bucks? The New York Daily News says the spiraling, string-free mommy of two's early exit from her hosting duties at Las Vegas hotspot Pure may have violated her contract and nullified her purported $400,000 appearance fee. "Britney failed to spend the agreed amount of time in the club, because she had to be helped out after collapsing," a "close source" tattles to the paper, adding that Pure is "furious" that the bygone pop starlet's rep is saying she was just drowsy, as it may lead people to conclude the club is dullsville. Insiders, however, are quick to dismiss the lost loot tale to TMZ.com, asserting that the nightclub is thrilled with the publicity Brit's antics generated. "Britney had a great time," a Pure spokeswoman tells the News, adding that Spears pocketed less than $200,000 for her champagne-fueled work and didn't lose any moolah for calling it an early night. "We love her and can't wait for her to come back."

"No, I'm not gay." So declares Wentworth Miller to the Australian Associated Press over speculation about his team-playing preference. And although the "Prison Break" star has no plans for a tasteful tell-all in People, he says he has no problem with the whispers. "I know these rumors are out there ... I'm cool with the fact that they exist, I mean this is about fantasy," maintains Miller. "Certain people are going to have certain fantasies, if someone wants to imagine me with a woman, or a man or one of each, that's cool with me as long as you keep watching the show."