Lohan's New Year's blow-up; plus, romance news ranging from the ridiculous (George Clooney and -- eek! -- Paris Hilton?) to the sublime (Reese and Jake's courtside PDA) and much more ...

Posted Jan. 5, 2009

"I don't like resolutions. All I can say is that I want happiness and positivity for everyone." So declared Lindsay Lohan (via the Miami Herald) on New Year's Eve as she and Samantha Ronson headlined a shindig at hot spot Mansion in Miami.

And while they reportedly enjoyed a private moment under the DJ booth soon after the clock struck midnight, the stuck-together, squabble-prone squeezes apparently experienced neither happiness nor positivity as 2009 dawned.

According to the New York Post, Lindsay and Sam "went nuclear" at the bash and began "screaming" at each other. The meltdown grew so heated that they ended up bickering in an alley behind the club, where they put on an impromptu dinner theater performance for a down-and-out fellow.

"It was a really gross alley. There was a bum eating a sandwich watching the whole thing," a snitch tattles to the paper. "Lindsay was really unstable and flipping out."

Lindsay soaks up the sun on Miami Beach on Dec. 31. (©Splash News)

The underemployed, hobby-needing starlet, 22 (yep, she's still only 22), who earlier in the day gave a good photo op as she strolled the beach in a teeny black bikini, purportedly went so far as to proclaim that when she leaves in a big ol' huff, Ronson should hop in and join her.

"When I storm off," she's quoted as hollering, "you are supposed to follow me!"

The battle intensified as Lindsay and Sam returned to their room at the swanky Gansevoort Hotel in the wee hours of the morning.

Spies tell the paper that "crashing sounds and screaming" could be heard before the twosome took their tussle public -- and got physical -- in a hotel corridor around 11 a.m.

"They were punching each other. It was bad," claims a mole. "And they were doing this in front of all of us. It was scary."

Another onlooker adds to People that the situation was "insane -- like out of a bad movie insane."

And in a move that proves Lohan can still emote with the best of 'em, she reportedly kneeled down and beseeched, "Why are you doing this to me?"

Ronson is said to have offered up the most reasonable response to that question, specifically, "I don't know you."

When security arrived, they discovered the drama-addicted duo's room "trashed," says the paper, with an eyewitness relaying, "Mirrors were broken and it was a complete mess."

And that appears to be the same state Lindsay was in when she and Sam turned up at the airport that afternoon for their flight home to Los Angeles.

TMZ.com reports trouble began in the American Airlines Admirals Club and escalated onboard the plane, with the waterworks on full blast.

And while us nonfamous folk would be lucky to get a free tissue if we were blubbering before takeoff, the leggings-shilling actress was "so inconsolable the flight attendants asked if she'd like to disembark," recollects a bystander.

She opted to fly the unfriendly skies.

"There was an argument," Lohan's rep confirms to the Post. "I don't know the details, but they left for L.A. together and it's fine."

Paparazzi caught up with LiLo as she did some retail therapy on Friday, and she responded with an unconvincing "no, not exactly" when a shutterbug asked if there was "trouble in paradise."

Still, Lohan and Ronson's tiffs seem to be growing more common -- and more intense.

The Post alleges their tempers also flared last Tuesday night at Miami hot spot Set.

"Both their families were there," asserts a snitch, "and Lindsay and Sam just started going at it."

Meanwhile, shortly before Ronson was hospitalized last month for what was characterized as exhaustion, they had a four-letter-filled "nuclear screaming match" at the DJ's Hollywood Hills pad, says TMZ.

Around 4 a.m., neighbors overheard someone (feel free to jump that millimeter or two to a conclusion) whine, "You never say you love me," which was followed by the sound of breaking glass.

At that point, Sam supposedly barked at Lindsay, "If you're gonna break things, get out of my house."

The inamoratas, who are rumored to have undergone couples counseling, have also reportedly put the "fun" in dysfunctional with similar displays of relationship drama in London, Dubai and New York in recent months.

No wonder predictions of doom have been swirling around the pair.

"They fight every day," an insider told the New York Daily News late last month. "It's just jealousy and childish bickering over the fact that neither feels the other pays enough attention. While they really do love each other, this relationship will be over by March."

Or sooner.

"Access Hollywood," quoting a source close to Lindsay, says she and Ronson have called it quits, with the actress moving out and getting a place of her own.

Nuh-uh, maintains Lohan, who denied the whispers on her blog.

"RUMORS," she wrote Monday afternoon. "Little piece of TRUE information: We did NOT break up! & Get your stories straight please. It's really annoying to have all of your friends emailing you saying, I saw, I read, etc. ... NOT TRUE."