Nothing is ever small when comedienne Mo'Nique is involved. Playing a plus-size woman who finds love in "Phat Girlz," the 38-year-old actress is in her element with one wisecrack after another. And as anyone who has ever seen her perform in person or caught her hosting "Showtime at the Apollo" knows, it's always best to let the queen (of comedy) speak for herself.

On the discrimination overweight people face every day:
"There is a particular spa I go to. And I go quite often. And they are rather pricey. And I tip very well. They have never had a robe to fit me. I always have to get a man's robe. Why? Why does that happen? Because they totally make the fat woman invisible. We are nonexistent in this country, but we are 60% of the country."

How men are really looking for "thick" girls:
"They come over to our house at 3, 4 o'clock in the morning when they are done with a small girl. Am I lying? They want that fat love baby. Fat love honey. Yes!"

Will she ever stop talking about being fat?
"Here is what makes me chuckle about that: Have we ever said that to a supermodel? Have we ever said that to any other movie actress? Have we ever said, 'Enough of you being beautiful and feeling good about you'? No we haven't. This is Mo'Nique. Will I stop? No, I'm a fat girl 'til I die."

The reason she'll never be a size five:
"You ever see a woman who lost a lot of weight and her head looks like it doesn't belong on her body? We have big heads for a reason -- to go with our big bodies. So when you lose all that weight, none of the weight goes in your head, because it goes with your body. Be healthy, be fit, be firm, but to drop 200 pounds and you'll have a 200-pound head. It looks out of place."

On why her new cookbook is titled "Skinny Cooks Can't be Trusted":
"Because they can't, because they don't taste nothing! Do you stand by your food after you cook it or do you serve it? [This is] a real cookbook with butter, cream and sugar and whole milk and the ham hocks and the Cheez Whiz and it's real, man -- what our grandmothers used to cook for us."

Why she'll eventually go back to series TV:
"I think TV stars are much bigger than movie stars. TV stars ... make love with you. They wash dishes with you. TV stars go through your everyday life with you and you know them, because they are right here. And you go through every experience with them. I love that thing called television."

"Phat Girlz" opens nationwide April 7.