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By Kathleen Murphy
Special to MSN Movies
In buddy movies, coppers always meet cute, create hostile sparks and then bond for life. It's just like love and marriage, only death -- not divorce -- is likelier to put a period to the partnership. Back in 1984, "Miami Vice"'s suave Sonny Crockett (Don Johnson) took one look at Ricardo Tubbs (Philip Michael Thomas), a hotshot New York cop angling to tie the knot, and gave him the cold shoulder, drawling, "You're really not up my alley -- style- and persona-wise." Half our pleasure with these oddly connubial cop movies -- whether comedic or action-oriented -- comes from watching the clashing twosomes butt heads, style- and persona-wise. Chris Tucker and Jackie Chan have ridden this formula to two box office successes, and now return for a third in "Rush Hour 3." Before that, let's look back at 10 flicks that featured partners-in-law we'll never forget.
10. "Starsky & Hutch" (2004)
The beat: "Bay City.
In the Seventies."
Badfellas: Vince Vaughn, dealing New (odorless) Coke
Words of wisdom: "When you cross the line, your nuts are
mine."
Players: Hutch (Owen Wilson) and Starsky (Ben Stiller) reprise the TV cop pals, backed by Snoop Dogg's iguana-petting, fashion-challenged Huggy Bear.
OK, this "S&H" spoof is a guilty pleasure, but the emphasis is more on
pleasure than guilt. Start with deadpanning Vaughn, who casually offs a minion
while "bronzing" on his yacht. Then pair up Stiller, ethically wound tighter
than a rubber band, with Wilson, so morally relaxed he's boneless, let them
trade speed freak and stoner repartee -- and sit back and enjoy the escalating
silliness. Running marathon pursuits of purse snatchers over rooftops and
whipping his Ford Gran Torino around like gangbusters, the wildly neurotic
Starsky is out to out-cop his mother, a legend on the force. Hutch, meanwhile,
has taken to robbing bookies -- he's undercover! -- and is likely to poke a
"floater" offshore, to become somebody else's problem. Surreally partnered, they
click, dressing up in Easy Rider disguises to infiltrate a biker bar; shaving in
holsters and hand towels; playing mating dragons (don't ask) to pry info out of
a hairnetted, deeply bent con (Will Ferrell in excelsis); doing
Marcel Marceaus, then murdering a pony at a lavish bat mitzvah for Vaughn's
daughter; and tearfully reuniting after a breakup. And here's an Owen Wilson
line-reading for the ages: "Go to sleep, tiny dancer."
9. "Lethal Weapon" (1987)
The beat:
Desertscapes and la-la-land real estate
Badfellas: Vietnam
vet drug smugglers (Mitchell Ryan, Gary Busey)
Words of wisdom:
"I'm too old for this s***!"
Players: When we first meet
Martin Riggs (Mel Gibson) and Roger Murtaugh (Danny Glover), they're naked as jaybirds. Young Riggs
staggers through his garbage-strewn trailer looking for a breakfast beer, while
Roger is surprised in his bath by his birthday-cake toting wife and kids. The
loner, grieving for his dead wife, wants to eat his gun; the family man, feeling
all of his 50 years, is looking to retire in one piece. Called in to talk a
jumper off a ledge, Riggs takes a companionable flyer. Murtaugh shows off his
getaway boat -- parked in his driveway, its engine shot. Naturally, when these
opposites get partnered, the crazy kid finds in Murtaugh's Cosby-worthy clan a
reason to live. "Weapon" blasts nonstop action, so there's no time to quibble
with Riggs' knee-jerk, goopy attachment to the greeting-card-perfect family and
his instantaneous return to mental health. The duo gives good buddy banter,
though their bonding seems more jerry-rigged than genuine. There's some truly
ugly electric-shock torture for Riggs, but that can't stop Murtaugh's little
white brother from saving his partner's sexy teenaged daughter from unspeakable
violation. And all resolves in time for everyone to get home for Christmas
dinner.
8. "Rush Hour" (1998)
The beat: Los
Angeles, especially Chinatown
Badfellas: Asian art
looter/collector (Tom Wilkinson)
Words of wisdom:
"Do you understand the words coming out of my mouth, Mr.
Rice-A-Roni?!"
Players: This first coupling of comic martial
artist Jackie Chan with mouthy stand-up comedian Chris Tucker fires on most cylinders, unlike the
unspeakable sequels that followed. Silent ninja (Hong Kong copshop) and
blathering black playa (LAPD) are unwillingly teamed in a kidnapping case. Their
insurmountable differences loom large when Chan, riding in Tucker's sleek
Corvette, tunes out rap in favor of the Beach Boys. His shanghai-ed partner explodes, "Don't ever
touch a black man's radio!" But PDQ the motormouth and his English-challenged
buddy are bonding big time on a Chinatown corner, belting out and boogying to
"War" -- a seriously "bad" scene! A fine narrative madness gets generated by
Tucker's manic eye-popping and shrilling as he scams his way out of scrapes,
while Chan dances impossibly up and down, under and through everything in sight.
It helps that these two brothers from another planet seem to genuinely get off
on each other's gifts and gaffes.
7. "The Untouchables" (1987)
The beat:
Under-the-El 'hoods, plush hotels, booze warehouses of Prohibition-era Chicago,
1930
Badfellas: Al Capone (Robert De Niro) and Frank Nitti (Billy Drago)
Words of wisdom:
"The first law of law enforcement is: When your shift is over, go home alive."
Players: Special Agent Eliot Ness (Kevin Costner) and beat cop Jim Malone (Sean Connery) share a blood oath to do anything
"within the law" to take down King Capone. Ness is an idealistic neophyte whom
veteran cop Malone teaches the brutal rules of the game: "If he pulls a knife,
you pull a gun. If he hurts one of yours, send one of his to the morgue."
Connery lets himself go deep into a ripe Scottish burr and old-school virility
as paterfamilias of "The Untouchables" quartet, including a feisty little
agent/accountant (Charles Martin Smith) and a sharp-shooting rookie (Andy Garcia). With his Norman Rockwell home life and
Presbyterian pastor looks, Ness seems too square and boyish to topple Capone and
his immigrant minions, who are, after all, living a version of the American
Dream. But he becomes a "good son" to the old "Irish" pro, though all the
up-close-and-personal bloodletting still falls to dad. Up on the courthouse
roof, when smalltime Lucifer Frank Nitti taunts the great reformer, wagering
he'll never pay for Malone's murder, Ness finally breaks out of "the law" and
flings the bastard over the edge.
6. "The Enforcer" (1976)
The beat: The
streets of San Francisco, full of criminal scum aided and abetted by
self-serving police brass and politicians
Badfellas:
Symbionese Liberation Army types
Words of wisdom: "She
wants to play lumberjack, she's going to have to learn how to handle her end of
the log."
Players: Dirty Harry (Clint Eastwood) and Kate Moore (Tyne Daly) get matched up as partners as part of the
mayor's PC plan to "winnow the Neanderthals" out of the police department.
Narrowing his eyes and hardening his jaw in outrage, Eastwood aims the familiar
Dirty Harry glare like a cocked gun at hapless Daly (six years away from her TV
partnership in "Cagney & Lacey"), marking her every klutzy screw-up with a
richly sarcastic "Marvelous." At first, the pretty lady in sensible shoes and
suit comes on like an eager-to-please puppy, but she's a tough cookie in the
clinches, taking out a nun who's about to plug Harry in the back. Easing into
remarkably adult camaraderie, the two crack each other up discussing the phallic
symbolism of big guns. But Harry's partners are notoriously short-lived. When
Kate takes a bullet meant for him, it's more than sappy sentimentality when she
whispers, "Don't concern yourself." Her breezy reply to Harry's initial
resentment of having to "carry" a woman on the street now has the weight of love
behind it.
5. "Men in Black" (1997)
The beat:
Big Apple pawnshop and morgue, the Jersey turnpike, 1964 World's Fairgrounds,
Flushing, N.Y. -- where better to wage war against hostile E.T.s?
Badfellas: Big bugs from outer space
Words of
wisdom: "The difference between you and me is I make this [suit] look
good."
Players: Buttoned-down MiB cop Tommy Lee Jones dresses like a
narc, has a voice as dry as James Bond's martinis and deadpans that folks in his
line of law enforcement have "no sense of humor we're aware of." Somehow his
newly recruited partner (Will Smith) still walks like a hipster
in his regulation black suit, white shirt and skinny black tie -- and cracks
wise even while birthing an adorable, slimy squid from another planet or
stomping roaches to get the attention of their hellacious big-brother bug. You
know you're witnessing the beginning of a beautiful friendship when Smith asks
Jones, "Did you ever flashy-thing me?" and his partner doesn't miss a beat
before riposting with a necessary lie. The cool, comradely pitch-and-catch
between this odd couple makes "Men in Black" go, along with the movie's
unflappable acceptance of a universe teeming with earthbound immigrants and
tourists -- like Newt Gingrich, Sylvester Stallone and Elvis Presley!
4. "Narc" (2002)
The beat: Detroit's
mean, gritty streets and gray, joyless interiors
Badfellas:
Cops and anyone else who struggles for survival in this blighted world
Words of wisdom: "His life is worth more to me than a
wreath and a rifle salute."
Players: Cops Nick Tellis (Jason Patric) and Henry Oak (Ray Liotta) team up to track down who killed a
decorated undercover narc, Oak's onetime partner. Liotta gained 25 pounds for
this role, and the added weight lends authoritative heft, enhanced by a graying,
neatly trimmed goatee and his "uniform" of black suit, tie and overcoat. In
contrast, the slighter Tellis slums in pirate's mustache, black watchcap,
leather jacket and jeans -- and is all dark and twitchy with flashbacks of
accidentally shooting and killing a pregnant woman during his own stint as an
undercover cop. During an interminable stakeout, Oak confides his wife's dead of
cancer and he's a better cop for it, because now he has nothing left to lose;
Tellis' unhealthy obsession with the case has driven his wife away. The partners
are broken mirrors of each other, wounded souls hungry for some taste of purity
in all the moral rot. But purity never has a chance in "Narc"'s bloody, "Rashomon"-like climax.
3. "Internal Affairs" (1990)
The
beat: The City of Angels, where every breath is warmed by gilded
sunlight and weighted with sex and money
Badfellas: Bad cop
Dennis Peck (Richard Gere)
Words of wisdom:
"Why don't you and Peck pull them out and I'll decide which one is
bigger?"
Players: I.A.D. cops Raymond Avilla (Andy Garcia) and Amy Wallace (Laurie Metcalf) join forces to bring down a
law-enforcement godfather who not only heads a "family" of wives, ex-wives and
children but also "owns" much of the force and carnally controls many of its
women. As Peck, silver-haired Richard Gere is a sexy snake, exuding silky
machismo in every power play -- whether seducing a woman or unmanning a rival.
Toying with Avilla's hair-trigger jealousy -- the I.A.D. man's wife is a
gorgeous "player" in the museum business -- Peck is stone-cold as he
orchestrates the ugly murder of his own partner when the boy goes soft. As the
case devolves into a primal dance between two alpha males, alternately marking
territory or giving ground, it falls to Avilla's hard-loving wife and his gutsy
partner, a lesbian with a low tolerance for male posturing, to pull the
hot-blooded Avilla back from a testosterone-fueled smashup.
2. "The Big Easy" (1987)
The beat: A
gumbo-licious New Orleans, spiced with zydeco, hot, neon-streaked summer nights
and a let-it-slide 'tude when it comes to right and wrong
Badfellas: Corrupt cops (Ned Beatty, John Goodman, et al.)
Words of
wisdom: "Face it, Remy, you're not one of the good guys
anymore!"
Players: In town to expose cops on the take,
Assistant D.A. Anne Osborne (Ellen Barkin) hooks up with homicide
detective Remy McSwain (Dennis Quaid). A cop like his daddy
and granddad before him, Remy takes an occasional dip into the "Widows and
Orphans Fund" (read: police kickbacks), but only to send his kid brother through
college. In her brief career as an authentically erotic dish with brains (see
especially "Sea of Love"), Barkin always had a uniquely irresistible way of
screwing up her face and going all out of focus -- like a stoned kitten -- when
ambushed by the unexpected, like Remy's brand of cocksure sexuality. Count this
odd couple's lovemaking among the movies' hottest -- but it doesn't stop
straight-arrow Anne from nailing her boy in court when he's caught red-handed
accepting a bribe. Still, when Remy turns righteous, Anne has his back, even
when bullets fly. "The Big Easy"'s all about chemistry between two beautiful
people, the way they look at and touch each other, their sensuality and style.
The rest, cher, is gravy.
1. "Rush" (1991)
The beat: Texas back
roads and sleazy biker bars, fading farmhouses alongside brightly lit oil
refineries -- a down-home underworld where it's always nighttime or about to be
Badfellas: Dope dealers (Gregg Allman, Bill Sadler)
Words of wisdom:
"If someone shoots your partner, you don't leave it to lawyers to sort
out."
Players: When veteran undercover narc Jim Raynor
(Jason Patric) partners up with a cute-as-a-button rookie (Jennifer Jason Leigh), he drags her down into a risky
world of pretend, where the chilled-out duo must often shoot up to entrap crazy
drug dealers. Bearded, blue-eyed Patric's all black intensity, a live wire
waiting to short circuit. Kristen falls hard for her mentor as he schools her in
the unforgiving rules of the game: "It's ugly and you get ugly with it... it's a
long haul and you hate yourself most of the way." Turns out the fragile-looking
blond gets off on the speedball "rush" of fear, sex, drugs and law enforcement
-- but she's tough enough to kick the habit that begins to eat her up and to
rescue Raynor when he gets fatally hooked. "Rush" is a hard, gritty ride from
start to shotgun finale, but both Patric and Leigh shine phosphorus-bright as
expendable true believers in a futile police action by self-righteous reformers
against sociopaths.
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Who is your favorite cop duo? Write us at heymsn@microsoft.com
Kathleen Murphy currently reviews films for Seattle's Queen Anne News. A frequent speaker on film, Murphy has contributed numerous essays to magazines (Film Comment, the Village Voice, Film West, Newsweek-Japan), books ("Best American Movie Writing of 1998," "Women and Cinema," "The Myth of the West") and Web sites (Amazon.com, Cinemania.com, Reel.com). Once upon a time, in another life, she wrote speeches for Bill Clinton, Jack Lemmon, Harrison Ford, Joe Pesci, Robert De Niro, Art Garfunkel and Diana Ross.
