In honor of 007's 50th, a seven-best list of all
things Bond
LOS ANGELES (AP) -- From the way he introduces himself to his preferred drink
order to the kind of car he drives, everything about James Bond is deeply
entrenched in pop culture.
We like to make lists of things around here, but usually they come in fives.
In honor of Agent 007's 50th anniversary, here's a seven-best list of all things
Bond:
BEST BOND GIRL: This is tough. Adorably sexy Honor Blackman
played the Bond girl with the best name of all — Pussy Galore — in "Goldfinger"
(1964) and action veteran Michelle Yeoh was fierce in "Tomorrow Never Dies"
(1997). Eva Green as the smart and sultry Vesper Lynd in 2006's "Casino Royale"
was the rare Bond girl who was truly his equal. (It's easy to pick the worst
one: That would be Denise Richards as the allegedly brilliant nuclear physicist
Dr. Christmas Jones in 1999's "The World Is Not Enough.") But just the vision of
Ursula Andress striding from the ocean in "Dr. No" is so famous and so stirring,
it's hard to top: that bikini with a dagger strapped to her hip, the long blonde
hair and those curves. The very image personifies the gorgeous, mysterious cool
of the Bond girl. And she just happened to appear in the first film in the
franchise back in 1962.
MOST FEARSOME BOND VILLAIN: Blofeld is the easy answer
because he's appeared in so many Bond films, and because he's the inspiration
for the Dr. Evil character in the "Austin Powers" movies. And that ever-present
cat on his lap ... that has to make him a truly, deeply bad guy. A dog person
would never be hell-bent on global domination. Francisco Scaramanga, the
inspiration for "The Man With the Golden Gun" (1974), is also a tempting choice.
He has a third nipple, people! What more do you need? But I'm picking Jaws from
"The Spy Who Loved Me" (1977) and "Moonraker" (1979), played by 7-foot-2 Richard
Kiel. Those teeth — they could do some serious damage.
BEST THEME SONG: "Nobody Does It Better" from "The Spy Who
Loved Me." Many of you would choose Shirley Bassey's big, jazzy "Goldfinger," or
even "Live and Let Die" (the rockingest song Paul McCartney and Wings ever
recorded) and you'd be totally justified. But this one just stands out after all
these years. It still takes such a hold of you when you're listening to it, with
the touches of melancholy in Carly Simon's haunting vocals mixing with the
mystery required of any great Bond tune. It's also one of several that would be
nominated for an original-song Oscar, the writing credits going to Carole Bayer
Sager and the late, great Marvin Hamlisch. I had this stuck in my head the whole
day when Hamlisch died recently, and didn't mind one bit.
COOLEST GADGET: The jet pack that allowed Sean Connery to
zoom skyward to his escape in 1965's "Thunderball" was cool and very
forward-thinking. And it just happened to be sitting right there, waiting for
him — what are the odds? But it's the car, of course, that's so readily
identifiable as James Bond's most reliable and versatile weapon. Famously, he
drives a silver Aston Martin but it's come in various models, with an assortment
of handy tricks and toys and been driven by several of the actors playing the
part. Revolving license plates, bulletproof shields, tires that shoot spikes,
headlights that hide machine guns, ejector seats — we all need these extras to
keep us busy while sitting in stop-and-go traffic on the 405. They're probably
safer than texting behind the wheel.
BEST CHASE: Skiing and shooting in 1981's "For Your Eyes
Only": It's the world's deadliest biathlon. Landing all those jumps would be
hard enough, but Bond also has to avoid dudes on motorcycles trying to kill him,
as well as bobsledders, tourists enjoying apres-ski beverages and the occasional
cow. But he does it all AND makes funny faces, because this is Roger Moore, the
jokey James Bond. "The Spy Who Loved Me" also features an Austrian ski chase
with some truly terrible green-screen effects and a disco-tastic version of the
Bond theme.
BEST BOND PARODY: It is very easy to make fun of James Bond
movies. Their tenets are instantly recognizable and the worlds in which they
exist are so lavish, they're probably a lot of fun to mimic. Before they made
their names in the United States with the Oscar-winning "The Artist," director
Michel Hazanavicius and star Jean Dujardin continued the tradition of the French
version of 007 with the slapsticky "OSS 117" movies. Similarly, British comic
Rowan Atkinson has stumbled and bumbled his way through a series of dangerous
assignments as the tuxedoed "Johnny English" in films that are huge hits
overseas. Still, the "Austin Powers" movies have done it best, especially the
first one, 1997's "Austin Powers: International Man of Mystery." They're giddy,
cheeky and goofy, they provide a great opportunity for Mike Myers'
chameleon-like style of physical humor and they revel in taking shots — albeit
affectionate ones — at this iconic character. Yeah, baby.
BEST BOND: Supposedly the Bond you grew up watching first is
the one you like best. Sorry, but I can't bring myself to pick Roger Moore. This
is actually as tough as choosing the best Bond girl because each actor has
interpreted the character in such vastly different ways while still attempting
to remain true to his essence. Sean Connery is the classic and he set the
standard, and he'd probably be the No. 1 pick for the vast majority of Bond
fans. At this point, though, when I think of Connery, I think of Darrell
Hammond's hilarious impersonation of him in the "Celebrity Jeopardy" sketches on
"Saturday Night Live" — "I'll take `The Rapists' for $200." "That's
`Therapists.'" So I'm going to do something kind of blasphemous here and say
Daniel Craig has become my favorite Bond. People scoffed when he was chosen to
star in "Casino Royale." "We can't have a blond Bond!" came the outcry. But
Craig can seriously act, bringing a welcome darkness to the character as well as
being sexy, masculine and formidable in all the necessary
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