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By Kathleen Murphy
Special to MSN Movies
What are weddings but theater on the grand scale? Throughout the ages, these
solemn rites have been mounted to awe rich and poor alike with dramatic
demonstrations of money, power, transfer of goods and chattel (that would
include the bride) and the promise of lots of progeny.
For graphic example, look no farther than Showtime's "The Tudors." Behind each of the
sumptuous nuptials punctuating Henry VIII's reign stands a cast of thousands --
kings, lords, popes and pretenders, all hot to win top billing on the back of a
royal bride. Primarily a vehicle to advance a tangled political agenda, the lady
was usually more pawn than star, except sexpot Anne Boleyn, the bride for whom
lustful Henry toppled English Catholicism. Of course, her stock (and head)
plummeted when a baby boom failed to eventuate.
Thank heavens getting hitched isn't the meshuggeneh melodrama it used to be!
And if you believe that, you've clearly been cloistered since birth. Tying the
knot's become big business, catering to every overblown fantasy that daddy's
little girl can manufacture. And Hollywood's been bombarding us with one wack
wedding comedy after another ("The Proposal" is the latest), each quirkier than the last.
Bridezillas
For a certifiably creepy take on estrogen-steeped wedding lunacy, check out
"Bride Wars." This post-feminist fable features two apparently
sane women, one a wimpy teacher (Anne Hathaway), the other a sharkish lawyer (Kate Hudson). These BFFs have been planning for the
Most Important Moment in Their Lives since toddlerhood. After extracting
proposals from clone boyfriends -- cue ear-splitting shrieks of triumph -- they
hustle to book the Plaza Hotel, Holy Grail of wedding venues.
When their two weddings are accidentally scheduled for the same date, the
once-fast friends turn sociopathic, visiting vicious, unfunny assaults on each
other's bods and reps. Hard to tell what's more nauseating, Hudson sobbing like
a little girl in the middle of an important legal case (off which she is
summarily fired) or the brides' ugly catfight in the middle of Hudson's wedding.
The Wedding Planner Sez: In this Bonfire of the (Bridal)
Vanities, pretentious keeper of the Plaza flame Candice Bergen has the right of it when she intones,
"You've been dead up until now." For these Barbie dolls, coming alive means
letting their inner Hulks out for what we're supposed to believe is therapeutic
play. Not a pretty picture.
Peter Pans
Hormonally unbalanced ladies are targets of opportunity in "Wedding Crashers," with hilarious horndogs Vince Vaughn and Owen Wilson trolling nuptial events for hotties
inflamed by the well-known aphrodisiac effect of weddings. The duo turns every
wedding party -- Jewish, Irish, Italian, whatever -- into a joyous bacchanal.
The girls fall like ripe apples, savored then forgotten.
Naturally, it's motor-mouthed Vaughn, a satyr on speed, who's nearly unmanned
-- and "midnight-raped"! -- by a feisty nutcase (Isla Fisher), his match in chutzpah and randiness. (Story Continues On Next Page...) |
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