The Pitch Harvard professor Robert Langdon (Hanks with a better
haircut) is decoding religious symbols again, tracking a nasty and very ancient
secret society called The Illuminati. Fortunately, his previous French sidekick
(Audrey Tautou in "The Da Vinci Code") has been replaced by a helpful Israeli
beauty (Zurer). The two zip around Rome's nooks and crannies, crypts and
chapels, trying to foil a plot to destroy the Catholic Church -- or at least the
Vatican.
The Scoop Howard's last directorial effort was "Frost/Nixon," kept afloat only by Frank Langella's magnificent performance as Nixon.
Now he's having another go at one of novelist Dan Brown's mass-market money
machines, presumably aiming to generate a long-running franchise. Given Howard's
lackluster style, let's hope the mystery sizzles and Hanks, Skarsård and
McGregor can ratchet up the action.
The Pitch With Earth no longer able to sustain human life, Homo
sapiens set out to remake the peaceful planet Terra as its new home.
Unfortunately, what's healthy for humans is poisonous to Terra's native
inhabitants. Still, there's a ray of hope for coexistence when local girl Mala
befriends Earthling space cowboy Jim ... although his people are pretty
ruthless, and the political philosophy of Terra's rulers is hard-line
fundamentalism.
The Scoop First shown at the 2007 Toronto International Film
Festival, "Battle for Terra" has been collecting raves ever since -- for
example, "as original and convincing a feature as the better Japanese animes"
(John Anderson, Variety) -- so why the delayed U.S. theatrical release? Word is
that the film's complexity and a less-than-idyllic resolution make it less kid
friendly than your typical cartoon feature. Sounds like a classic case of good
news (artistically) and bad news (for commercial prospects). We'll settle for
the good news.
The Pitch Trying to perfect his performance in "Uncle Vanya," a
neurotic actor named Paul Giamatti becomes so psychologically paralyzed he
decides to put his peanut-sized soul in deep-freeze storage for a while. Trouble
is, when he comes back for the thing, it's disappeared. In his quest to get it
back, Giamatti discovers an international black market dealing in stolen souls.
The Scoop Giamatti the Great can be pitch-perfect in existential
black comedy -- see "American Splendor" -- and festivalgoers and reviewers have
lavished high praise on first-time feature director-writer Barthes for a movie
she says was born in a dream. Here's a smart, surreal, exceedingly funny,
sometimes super-sad fantasy about that elusive something humankind needs for
little things like art and identity. Extra added attractions: Sublime David Strathairn plays scientist/CEO of the
soul-extracting corporation, and Dina Korzun ("Forty Shades of Blue") "mules"
souls out of the country. (How do you mule a soul? Do we really want to know?)
The Pitch Refugee aliens arrive on Earth to become the objects of
apartheid, forced to live in a slum camp called District 9. The only worth the
downtrodden aliens have in the eyes of the Multi-National United corporation
lies in their DNA, required to make their super-sophisticated weapons systems
work. Then a MNU henchman catches an alien bug and begins to evolve into
something very dangerous -- and potentially valuable.
The Scoop Largely known as a master of special effects, 3-D
animation and snazzy TV ads, South African Blomkamp shot "Alive in Joburg," a
short version of "District 9" back in 2005 -- and had hooked up with Peter Jackson to turn "Halo 3" into a film, until the
project proved too costly. Still, Jackson's on board as producer of the
documentary-style "District," featuring a largely unknown cast (co-stars Cope
and Copley cut their teeth on the original "Joburg"). Marketing's been viral --
as with the ill-fated "Cloverfield" -- with grabby PSAs appearing around the country:
"Bus bench for humans only" and "Report non-humans." This sci-fi idea's
provocative enough to draw audiences in, but will "District 9" only have room for spectacular F/X, no human-sized
emotions allowed?
The Pitch When the elderly Mrs. Ganush requests a loan
extension, bank-staffer Christine (Lohman) turns her down flat in hopes of
getting a promotion. Bad move. Soon Christine's perfect life turns into a
perfect hell, courtesy of the witchy old woman's vengeful curse.
The Scoop Taking a break from swinging with Spidey, Raimi returns
to his horror roots with a scarefest he happily describes as a plain old
"spook-a-blast, which is one of those cheesy carnival rides you get on and
you're jerked around in the darkness, wondering if a skeleton will pop out."
That's a ride Ellen Page, originally slated to star, would have
ridden with tongue firmly in cheek; Lohman's got a résumé full of serious
dramatic turns (e.g., "Things We Lost in the Fire"), so she'll probably scream with
conviction.
The Pitch Nick (Campo) and his friends are enjoying a
car race until a horrific series of accidents pretty much kills everyone on the
track and in the stands. Just a vision, folks, but let's blow this pop stand.
Nick and the gang celebrate their escape from death -- but, never fear, it's
only a matter of time until the Grim Reaper catches up with them.
The Scoop For some reason, the title of this latest entry in the
"Final Destination" series -- released as metronomically as entries in Jigsaw's
saga -- is preceded by "The." Could this syntactical adjustment signal higher
aspirations? Deeper meanings? Probably not, but this splatterfest does come in
3-D, so viewers can get a real eyeful of flesh, bones and viscera in various
stages of mutilation and breakage. The "meatbags" -- ugly term for the eye-candy
victims cast in these slaughterhouse flicks -- might as well be the modern-day
equivalent of those hapless souls in Rome's bloody arenas, entertainment for the
terminally numb.
The Pitch Another chapter in the familiar Greek tragedy about the
centuries-long struggle between a principled brother and his faithless sister.
Masked to hide his shame, Michael Myers wreaks bloody vengeance on his
lascivious sibling and all those who follow in her lustful path.
The Scoop John Carpenter's superb "Halloween" was one of a kind, so
it goes without saying that for several decades every hack hungry for easy
shekels has piled on the dumb and dumber sequels. Rob Zombie "remade" the ur-film a couple of years ago
-- amping up the blood-and-guts quotient to obscene proportions -- and audiences
rewarded him with $60 million. Now the zombie director has begun a new cycle of
sanguinary sequels, galvanizing an Internet drone to blather about the strong
interest "H2" has generated, "be it a spectacular failure or an insane work of
brilliance." Need I warn you that the barbarians are at the
gates?
The Pitch After a miscarriage, John (Sarsgaard) grieves and Kate
(Farmiga) struggles to fend off terrible nightmares, as fault lines open up in
their marriage. The couple decides on the therapy of adoption, bringing home an
angelic child named Esther. Very soon, there are alarming signs that they've
picked out a very Bad Seed.
The Scoop Do you remember "House of Wax" -- the execrable waste of screen space
that infamously paired Elisha Cuthbert (why couldn't she have been that
cougar's main course?) and android Paris Hilton as sexpot screamers?
Well, the "Wax" director is back to do more damage to the horror genre, and this
time he's roped two top-of-the-line actors (Farmiga and Sarsgaard) into aiding
and abetting him.
The Pitch Another return-to-origins prequel, in which we get to see
how all the Starfleet worthies -- Kirk (Pine), Spock (Quinto), Scotty (Pegg),
Uhura (Saldana), McCoy (Karl Urban), et al. -- got their start going where no
person had ever gone before.
The Scoop If you're bent on digging up this much-mined mythology,
J.J. Abrams is just the man to reanimate the franchise. Quinto ("Heroes"), shed of his unibrow, is
a dead-ringer for a younger Spock, Pine projects kid-rebel cred and the trailer
flashes a hint of hot sex -- on the Enterprise! And first captain of the USS
Enterprise, Captain Pike, is back, with Bruce Greenwood (late of the madly quirky "John From Cincinnati") in the
role created by Jeffrey Hunter in the original TV series pilot. Beam
us up, Scotty!