The Pitch A bunch of kids on vacation in Maine discover that aliens
have invaded their house. One of the four-armed little critters is adorable and
adoptable (remember "Gremlins"?), but his sharp-toothed buddies ... not so much.
Naturally, it's up to the youngsters to defend their parents and the world from
these extraterrestrial nasties.
The Scoop Directed by the John Schultz who stupefied us with "The Honeymooners" and written by Mark Burton ("Madagascar"), this one's strictly for baby-sitting kidlets too
square for "E.T." or even "Gremlins" -- if such can be found.
The Pitch If you've ever felt bad about the Navy using dolphins to
track underwater mines, you'll go ballistic when you see what kinds of beasties
they've engineered for espionage in this Disney tale: genius guinea pigs! An
I.T. mole! And a recon fly called Mooch! Is it even necessary to mention that
the fate of the world depends on this motley crew of unlikely heroes?
The Scoop The sophomore directing effort by the Oscar-winning
Yeatman, responsible for visual effects from "Armageddon" to "Underdog," "G-Force" is graced by a raft of wonderfully
idiosyncratic voices -- especially Morgan's unmistakable slur -- and impeccable
CGI. Its success depends on how many little people can be lured into watching
the outrageous adventures of furry rodents -- and a mosquito.
The Pitch Shattered by his mom's recent death, a little boy, Will
(Max Morrow), imprints emotionally on a goose that happens to be able to talk.
Unfortunately, his feathered friend is being fattened for a Christmas cook-off.
Will and friends devise an insane plot to save the garrulous honker from the
pot.
The Scoop Not much good news to report here. Shelved since 2006,
this "Goose" is most probably a turkey. Although the idea ostensibly was to
enable some kind of Chevy Chase comedy comeback -- "Fletch" plays the heartless
principal jonesing to eat the kid's bird-buddy -- that ship has long since
sailed. And why were Brit A-listers Joan Plowright and James Purefoy -- the latter of
whom was stellar as Mark Antony in HBO's marvelously decadent "Rome" -- slumming in this goose
grease? Alas, my friends, I fear we shall never know -- or even care to know --
the backstory of "Goose on the Loose."
The Pitch During Harry's sixth year at Hogwarts, the young wizard
continues to study up for a final confrontation with Voldemort, though his
attention is somewhat distracted by romance -- his as well as the seething
adolescent affections of Ron and Hermione.
The Scoop Is Pottermania still alive? Seems like we've been
enrolled at Hogwarts years and years -- almost all of the 21st century so far.
Aren't our wizard-scholars at least 40 by now? Maybe they're all Benjamin
Buttons. Anyway, Quidditch and spells and potions and dire doings continue
apace, with Dean Dumbledore calling in old friend Professor Horace Slughorn
(Broadbent) to lend a hand in the endless gearing-up for the fight with
Voldemort (Fiennes -- he should only be as lethally funny as he was as an
extremely bad guy in "In Bruges," one of the best films of 2008). Harry Potter fan
base: Here's this year's reason for living, "Deathly Hallows" is to
come.
The Pitch Love is in the Ice Age air: Manny's about to
be a dad, Scrat's fallen for a saber-toothed squirrel who's a real femme fatale
and Sid's dream of parenthood inspires him to -- gasp! -- steal some dinosaur
eggs. Enter a one-eyed weasel who obsessively stalks big game -- dinos!
The Scoop The gang's back, as irresistibly animated (and
distinctively voiced) as ever, up for more adventures, this time underground --
where dinosaurs stay warm. Say, is this prehistory for real?
The Pitch Murphy plays an executive type who can't take time to
smell the roses -- or pay some attention to his adorable 6-year-old daughter
(Shahidi). Then he discovers that nifty business solutions are hidden in her
drawings of an imaginary world -- and his failing career soon takes an upturn.
But will he learn to love the kid for herself, not just as a corporate
asset?
The Scoop Another family-friendly comedy in which Murphy will
offend no one, while jerking tears, smiles and sentiment from undemanding
audiences. His last comedy, "Meet Dave," had its ha-ha moments, but pretty much disappeared
like cotton candy, earning disappointing bucks at the box office. If I were
given to shrinking heads, I'd have to wonder why Mr. Murphy keeps his
brilliantly nasty, satiric self under wraps, armoring up in fatsuits, assorted
disguises and tapioca roles.
The Pitch A poignant variation on Hans Christian Andersen's "Little
Mermaid," this primary-colored fable by the eternally inventive Japanese
animation-master Miyazaki ("Spirited Away," "Howl's Moving Castle") unspools the story of a little
fish -- her father's a sorcerer and mom rules as the Queen of the Sea -- who
loves a 5-year-old boy named Sosuke (voiced by Hiroki Doi). Can Ponyo (voiced by
Yuria Nara) become a human child, despite dangerous consequences?
The Scoop No one rivals Miyazaki's work in traditional cel
animation; what he visualizes is both gorgeous and challenging, even disturbing.
There's pleasure in his films for grown-ups as well as kids. (His masterpiece
"Princess Mononoke" evokes visually primal mythology to show
nature's decline as a result of humankind's machinations.) If you're given to
blindfolding children from anything but the most benign realities, you'll
deprive your offspring of Miyazaki's highly idiosyncratic and exquisitely drawn
worlds -- though such excursions might actually encourage their little psyches
to grapple with and exorcize what scares them. Our advice: See anything by
Miyazaki and be glad that such a visionary is still working.
The Pitch Eleven-year-old Toe Thompson (Jimmy Bennett) lives in a
suburb of Black Falls, where all the houses look the same and everyone works for
Mr. Black's BLACK BOX Unlimited Worldwide Industries Inc. Not much for a kid to
do, until Toe gets beaned by a rainbow-colored rock that grants wishes. Soon
Black Falls is teeming with the bizarre results of misguided wishes.
The Scoop Bouncing from "Spy Kids" to the blood-'n'-guts of "Planet Terror" ("Grindhouse") to "Shorts" suggests a certain creative
schizophrenia on the part of director Rodriguez, who, like his erstwhile friend
Tarantino, merges a kid-style energy with a very
adult-movie sensibility. The key to his series of short takes in this
shake-up-the-status-quo fairy tale is clearly "Be careful what you wish for."
Could be quirky fun, with Spader as a "Black" villain and Macy channeling
oddball Dr. Noseworthy.