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No sleep last night. Snoring is bollocks. Accio Dudley's Breathe-Rite strips!
Wish @Dumbledore would get here already.
Hedwig is molting all over my room and I can't remember the clean up owl-pellet spell. It's mental.
@DailyProphet No comment.
RT @HermioneGranger @DailyProphet He Who Must Not Be Named does not need hyphens.
@RonWeasley Is your sister dating anyone? Would she snog, say, Colin Creevey?
R&H, wait till you see Dumbledore's hand. It's black and dead and I think I just threw up slugs in my mouth. [Your direct message to ronweasley and hermionegranger has been sent!]
Hogwarts Express smells like feet. Can't someone cast an olfactohomora?
@RonWeasley Well, would she snog Neville?
@RonWeasley What about his toad?
@GinnyWeasley Nice bat-bogey hex. Want to practice Quidditch together? Just as friends.
Making a list of evil people. If your names rhyme with Maco and Scrape, you're on it.
@HermioneGranger I am not paranoid.
@HermioneGranger UR just jealous that I'm beating U in potions.
@RonWeasley What about Ginny and, say, someone older? But maybe not as old as Professor Slughorn?
@HermioneGranger Every1 abbrevs wds on Twizzard. They won't take points from Gryffindor 4 it.
@RonWeasley, @HermioneGranger says 2 stop snogging Lavender in the common room because it sounds like UR chewing a greasy sausage.
@HermioneGranger, @RonWeasley says Victor Krum left his non-opposable thumb prints on your back.
Draco Malfoy is up to no good. No one believes me. Have I been wrong ONCE in 5 huge, fat books? Is it my glasses? Do they undermine my cred?
@RonWeasley Ask your sister what she thinks of guys in glasses. I have a friend who's curious.
Other people's memories smell like feet.
I know he's evil and killed my parents, but Voldemort was really cute when he was young. Wonder if Ginny would have snogged him.
@Hagrid. Super sorry about your big spider.
When Professor Slughorn eats crystallized pineapple, he chews with his mouth open. 10 points from Slughorn.
@RonWeasley. It's horcrux. Not whorecrux.
I hate detention with Snape. He's a mouth-breather.
Off on secret mission with Dumbledore. What could possibly go wrong?
(Harry Potter is following Draco Malfoy, Severus Snape, Lord Voldemort, The Daily Prophet, Ron Weasley, Hermione Granger, Professor Dumbledore, Fred Weasley, George Weasley and Ginny Weasley. He has blocked Romilda Vane and Ashton Kutcher)
Also: For all the lastest Harry Potter buzz, visit the 'Harry Potter'
Superfan site!
Written by Martha Brockenbrough and Jaime Temairik. Martha Brockenbrough
is author of "Things That Make Us
[Sic]," a guide to funny bad grammar, published by St. Martin's
press. She also blogs about family life for Cozi.com and writes an
educational humor column for Encarta.
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