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by Kat Giantis
MSN Entertainment
May 17, 2004
It's only been a few days since Gwyneth Paltrow and Chris Martin introduced their 9 lb., 11 oz. bouncing baby Apple to the world, and already we're sick of the puns ("Apple of Gwyn's eye," "Pomme in the oven," "Gwynny Smith," and pretty much anything in the "core" or "peel" genre). No word on the significance of the oddball appellation, though theories have ranged from a New York homage to a wacky Beatles tribute to the most expensive Mac product placement ever.
We wish little Apple the best of luck on the playground (you'll need it, honey), and offer her these words of consolation: It could've been a whole lot worse. Really. We'll never understand why some celebrities, who are capable of giving their children the best of everything, saddle them with monikers that will inevitably lead to teasing, fisticuffs and diminished career prospects, but we decided it's a good time to out Hollywood's worst baby-name offenders. Be sure to check back soon for updates, since we're expecting big things from the likes of Courteney Cox and David Arquette, Beck and Marissa Ribisi, and Casey Affleck and Summer Phoenix ...
10. Rumer Glenn, Tallulah Belle and Scout LaRue, daughters of Bruce Willis and Demi Moore
9. Jett, son of John Travolta and Kelly Preston
8. Diezel and Denim, sons of Toni Braxton and Keri Lewis
7. Prince Michael, Prince Michael II (AKA
Blanket), and Paris Michael, children of Michael Jackson
6. Speck Wildhorse and Hud, sons of John Mellencamp and Elaine Irwin
5. Pilot Inspektor, son of
Jason Lee and Beth Riesgraf
4. Tu Morrow, daughter of Rob Morrow and Debbon Ayre (seriously)
3. Audio Science, son
of Shannyn Sossamon and Dallas Clayton
2. Moon Unit, Ahmet
Emuukha Rodan, Dweezil, and Diva, children of Frank Zappa
1. Heavenly Hiraani Tiger Lily, Fifi
Trixibelle, Peaches Honeyblossom, and Pixie, daughters of the late Paula Yates (Tiger Lily's dad is the late Michael Hutchence; Bob Geldof is father to the other
three)
Dishonorable Mention: Zowie (son of David Bowie -- he later changed his name to Joe before settling
on Duncan); Elijah Bob Patricius Guggi Q (son of Bono), Banjo (son of Rachel Griffiths), Jaz (daughter of Andre Agassi and Steffi
Graf), Romeo and Brooklyn (sons of Victoria and David Beckham), Aurelius (son of Elle Macpherson), Lyric and Zephyr (daughter and son of Robby Benson), Hopper (son of Sean Penn and Robin Wright Penn), Kyd (son of David Duchovny and Tea Leoni), Reignbeau and Freedom (daughter and son of Ving Rhames), and (gulp) Jermajesty (son of Jermaine Jackson).
Jude Cashes Out
Just like fame, divorce costs, and
right here is where Jude Law starts paying. London's News of the World reports the
"Cold Mountain" star is closing in on a settlement with ex-wife
Sadie Frost that could require him to fork over $8.8
million in cash, an $8.8 million house, and $35,000 a month in support. "She
argues that she's been with him while his career was growing, through the lean
years while he built himself up, and she was his rock," an insider tells the
paper. "She kept the home going and was there for their three kids. Now Jude's a
big Hollywood star earning millions she feels it's only right that she benefits
from this, too." Law and Frost, whose divorce became final in October, will
share custody of the kids, who will reportedly split their time between
their parents' London mansions during the week. A pal of Frost's tells the paper
that while nothing is settled yet, "... Sadie has a big smile on her face. She's
looking forward to doing the house up and buying a new wardrobe."
Kravitz: Fidelity Fact and Fiction
Lenny Kravitz may let love rule, but he insists he only does so
one woman at a time. The sartorially eccentric rocker maintains he never strayed
when he was dating Nicole Kidman. "That was never the fact," he tells the New
York Daily News. "It was made up." Late last year, speculation was rampant that
the Oscar-winning actress ditched Kravitz because of his wandering eye. Not so,
he says. "Certain things I can take, I have taken them for years," explains
Lenny, whose new album, "Baptism," hits stores Tuesday. "But these are just
bold-face lies. I try to take the high road, like, okay, I let it go. But after
a while you have to stand up for yourself. It makes me look bad and it never
happened."
Another thing that never happened, says Kravitz, was an interview with the German magazine Gala in which he allegedly said, "I'm a nice, charming guy, who can give a lot of love. But I'm also complicated, a bitch, a diva." Kravitz says Gala claims to have lost the interview tape. "They are just lies, saying I said something I never said," he tells the News. "My child had to read that. Nicole's children have to read that. She had to see it, I have to see it. We don't really pay attention to that stuff, but the point is that it is just not cool."
Mischa, Mischa, Mischa
Someone should give Mischa Barton a copy of "How to Win Friends and Influence
People," because lately, she's not having much luck doing either. The
high-maintenance "O.C." honey, 18, and her PDA-loving boyfriend, rich kid
Brandon Davis, are in the middle of a feud with celebrity-craving sisters Paris and Nicky Hilton, reports USA Today. It's unclear what
caused the foursome to go all Hatfield and McCoy, but Davis grew up with the
heiresses and during Paris' sex tape scandal he defended her, describing her as
"family." These days, kind words for the "Simple Life" star are apparently
harder to come by. "We've all known each other so long that I'm hoping
everything will just blow over," Nicole Richie, Paris' reality show partner in crime, tells the
paper. Perhaps Mischa can skim through the self-help book during her summer
vacation, which she'll spend with Davis and her family in the South of
France.
Landry and Lopez Kaput
Congratulations to Mario Lopez and Ali Landry. Thanks to their whiplash uncoupling, the decidedly
downmarket celebs, both 30, have joined an exclusive club populated by such commitment-phobic
A-listers as Britney Spears and Nicolas Cage. The toothy twosome, who have been together for
six years, split up less than two weeks after tying the knot in a romantic
Mexican ceremony on April 24, says both People and Us. Landry is reportedly
seeking an annulment.
"He's cheated on her for several years, and she just found out last week," a Landry insider tells People. "They never had a honeymoon, and he was out at a club last week without his wife." Another pal tells Us, "She didn't want to believe it, but she was given really strong evidence this time. She is devastated." A planned segment on the wedding set to air on "Oprah" has been yanked, although we're still puzzled how the onetime Doritos girl and the ex-"Saved by the Bell" co-star rated inclusion on Oprah in the first place.
Quickies
"Cutthroat Island" just got a couple of new fans, bringing its
grand total to, well, at least two. Entertainment Tonight reports Geena Davis, 48, and her husband, Dr. Reza Jarrahy, 33,
welcomed twin boys on May 6 in Los Angeles. Kian and Kaiis (please see baby name
item above) join sister Alizeh Keshvar.
Jimmy Fallon bid a low-key adieu to "Saturday Night Live" during the show's season finale this week. "This is my last show," he said at the end of his Weekend Update segment. "Good night and have a pleasant tomorrow." The cutie comedian, who joined the show in 1998, reportedly didn't renew his contract. He'll next be seen opposite Queen Latifah in the flick "Taxi," due out in November.
We're shocked -- shocked! -- to learn that someone involved with Fox's makeover hit "The Swan" has less than Ivy League credentials. Thesmokinggun.com reveals that therapist Lynn "Dr." Ianni, who provides counseling to the self-esteem-challenged surgery subjects, received her Ph.D. in clinical psychology from an unaccredited California correspondence school that congressional investigators recently described as a "diploma mill."
NBC has given a clean bill of health to "Scrubs." Variety reports the network has renewed the underdog sitcom (just give John C. McGinley an Emmy already!) through 2006. "Everybody Loves Raymond" will also return for a ninth and final season, CBS has announced, though the show will produce 16 instead of the usual 22 episodes.
Luke Perry made like Tom Cruise on Saturday during a performance of "When Harry Met Sally" at London's Theatre Royal. When part of the ceiling collapsed and fell on audience members, the former "Beverly Hills 90210" star reportedly jumped off the stage and helped usher people to safety. About 15 people suffered minor injuries.
