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5. Bobby Brown, 35
Meltdown Moment: Too many to list. Brown's reputation as an R&B singer has long been overshadowed by his numerous run-ins with Johnny Law. His preferred recipe for disaster: drugs, alcohol and high-performance sports cars. Since Bobby wed Whitney in 1992, he's been in and out of jail for repeatedly violating his parole and most recently spent a night in the pokey for failing to pay child support to the mother of two of his children. Brown, who broke down in tears before being taken into custody, quickly paid the debt.
Dysfunctional Dialogue: In 2002, Brown told Diane Sawyer that he smokes pot "maybe every other day" to keep his bipolar problem in check. "Me and drugs -- we're not friends," said Bobby. "We're not friends at all." In March 2004, he told the judge overseeing his child support hearing, "A lot of things have come down on me with my life, my marriage, my children. I never wanted this to happen.''
The Aftermath: Too soon to tell. Among other legal scrapes,
Brown is due in court next month for allegedly assaulting Houston. In the
meantime, he's having a camera crew trail him in hopes the reality of his
turbulent life will appeal to a network.
4. Christian Slater, 34
Meltdown Moment: The "Heathers" hottie was no stranger to the boys in blue when he sunk his teeth into trouble in August 1997. Slater, who'd been nabbed three years earlier at JFK Airport with a gun in his bag, was bingeing on tequila, vodka and cocaine at a friend's party when he punched a female acquaintance in the face, chomped a man in the chest who came to her defense, kicked a janitor in the stomach, and tried to grab a cop's gun. Slater, who claimed he had no recollection of his wild behavior, woke up in jail.
Dysfunctional Dialogue: "I take full ownership of the incident," Slater told Rolling Stone in 1998. "I haven't shown any great character, doing drugs and alcohol. The cat's out of the bag on me, OK? I'm insane. No doubt about it. Crystal clear. I can't lie about it. I lie, I die. It's over."
The Aftermath: Slater entered rehab and eventually served 59 days in jail. He revived his career with a stint on Broadway and reformed his bad-boy image by settling into domesticity with wife Ryan Haddon, whom he wed in February 2000 (they have two kids). But Slater's hell-raiser reputation resurfaced in 2003, first when he and Haddon reportedly partied hearty with Ben Affleck at a Vancouver strip club and later when his missus was jailed overnight for winging a glass at his head (he received nine stitches behind his ear). The charges against her were later dropped. The recent headlines haven't slowed Slater down: He currently has five movies in the can.
3. Charlie Sheen, 38
Meltdown Moment: A star by the time he was 21, Sheen put the "demons" in hedonism, spending thousands on Heidi Fleiss' call girls and, at his lowest point, downing two quarts of vodka a day and smoking copious amounts of cocaine. On May 20, 1998, after a week of nonstop partying, Sheen was rushed to the hospital suffering from a drug overdose, a fact his father, Martin Sheen, candidly announced to the press. Charlie quickly checked into a treatment center, only to leave by limo a few hours later. His worried dad got an arrest warrant, arguing that the "Platoon" star had broken his probation in an earlier no-contest plea for attacking his ex-girlfriend. Faced with jail time, the actor chose to work on his self-described "destructive appetites" in rehab.
Dysfunctional Dialogue: "I was a little annoyed at the time," Sheen said of his father's tough-love approach, "but he saved my life, and I love him for that."
The Aftermath: Sober since getting out of treatment, Sheen
has become the quintessential comeback kid. He's found new success on the small
screen, first as Michael J. Fox's replacement on "Spin City," a role that earned
him a Golden Globe, and currently on the CBS hit "Two and a Half Men." He wed
actress Denise Richards in June 2003, and the couple welcomed a
daughter, Sam, in March.
2. Robert Downey Jr., 39
Meltdown Moment: Downey earned his stripes as death-pool poster boy in 1996, when police stopped him for speeding and discovered crack, heroin and an unloaded gun in his car. Soon after, the Oscar-nominated actor pulled a Goldilocks when he wandered into a neighbor's house and passed out. What followed were five years of relapses, jail time, stints in rehab, and lost jobs.
Dysfunctional Dialogue: "It's like I've got a shotgun in my mouth, and I've got my finger on the trigger, and I like the taste of gun metal," a desperate Downey said in court in 1999, just before he was sentenced to state prison.
The Aftermath: Still perceived as an insurance risk, Downey
has nonetheless found steady work, including a co-starring role with Halle Berry in 2003's "Gothika." The thespian, who says his preferred vice these days
is tea, plans to marry producer Susan Levin at Christmas, with his 10-year-old
son, Indio, serving as his best man.
1. Michael Jackson, 45
Meltdown Moment: So many crashes, so little space. Among the lowlights that have almost completely obliterated Jackson's once-deserved reputation as the King of Pop: the reported $20 million settlement of a child-molestation lawsuit in 1994 (Jackson maintains his innocence); the disfiguring plastic surgery; the marriages to Lisa Marie Presley and Debbie Rowe; the masked children; the money problems; the kooky disguises; the baby dangling; the disastrous documentary with Martin Bashir, during which he admitted he slept in bed with "many children"; and the current molestation charges that could land him behind bars.
Dysfunctional Declaration: "Lies run sprints, but the truth runs marathons," Jackson said after being booked in November. "The truth will win this marathon in court."
The Aftermath: With Jackson's image so tarnished by scandal, it will take a PR miracle for his star to be reborn. In March, amid legal wrangling over the current accusations, the Neverland-dwelling performer made an appearance in Washington, D.C., where he was filmed holding and hugging children. Is there a chance Michael will awaken from the Peter Pan fantasyland he's living in and face the reality of his world, which is crumbling faster than his nose? Maybe, but it might be too late to salvage his fame and resurrect the moonwalking, sequined-glove-wearing musical genius of old.
