Americans apparently
want and need to see flaming severed heads flying at them. What else could
explain the box-office triumph of "The Final Destination" last weekend? Earning
an estimated $28.3 million, the more-of-the-same sequel (which runs a paltry ... more84
minutes and yet, somehow, still feels like an eternity) brought in audiences
with the promise of gore and fake organs with height, width and depth, never
mind that putting "The Final Destination" in 3-D ironically just makes it feel
all the more shallow. Also, really, does anyone bet that this is in fact the
final "Final Destination" film? I know that calling the film "Antepenultimate
Destination" wouldn't help at the box office, but considering that I can
see New Line milking this cash cow (if cash cows gave off blood, that is) for at
least two more films, it would at least be more honest.
Quentin
Tarantino's "Inglourious Basterds" came in second, with $20
million, for a total of $73 million domestic. You can be sure that the
Weinsteins were breathing big, big sighs of relief that "Basterds" didn't go all
"Grindhouse" on them and flop hard; it is looking more and more like a
moneymaker. Third place was taken by "Halloween 2," Rob Zombie's reimagining of John
Carpenter's 1981 sequel, making $17.4 million. I went to a Friday matinee of
"Halloween 2," and it was the weirdest crowd I've seen at the movies in a while,
composed solely of unaccompanied minors, creepy rockabilly dudes and creepy
unaccompanied rockabilly minors, plus my judgmental self peering over my glasses
at the blood and guts. All I'll say about "Halloween 2" is that it's a grim,
tawdry little film, made even worse by the fact that Zombie can't light or shoot
a scene to save his life, and that watching Rob Zombie explore Jungian
psychological archetypes with his ham-handed symbolism (which involves scenes
that, not coincidentally, star his wife Sheri Moon Zombie as Michael Myers' mom
-- yea, nepotism!) is like watching my cat explore a paper bag. I love extreme
horror, yes, but when it's done right. And there's more real thought and skill
and terror in five minutes of the underseen "A L'intérieur" (which may be called
"Inside" at your local video store if you have a strong stomach and feel like
being scared for approximately the rest of your life) than in all of the dim,
grim stab-happy 101 minutes of "Halloween 2." Close
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